Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Watch Out for the End There


Fuck Winter.

Because of winter there are winter coats.  Winter coats have always been and will always be my nemesis.  They have presented me with yet another challenge.  Small children are not allowed to wear puffy winter coats, or winter coats at all, in their car seats.  They prevent the straps from being pulled tight enough, and then when an accident happens, they just slide right out of the coat and their seat buckles.

And accidents are more likely in winter.

My mom made Lilly a nice cape to wear over herself in her car seat when she doesn't have a coat on.  Lilly does not like it to go over her head.  To go to the doctor's appointment, I mentioned last, it took so long, just so long to get Lilly in a coat.  First, she had to pick a coat.  She chose her hoody.  Not a coat.  So she chose her new puffy coat to go over the hoody.  The puffy coat, like all good winter coats will, do not layer well.  They are not built to go over long sleeves and hoodies.  Because that would make sense to do so.  Instead Lilly would put an arm in, and when she couldn't get her hand out the end of the sleeve, instead of letting me help, she would crumple up in a ball and pull her arm out and cry.  This happened for both arms.

Finally.  Finally, we get to the car.  She climbs in.  I am barely holding on to my temper.  And she looks at me and goes, I need my coat off mom!  AAAAAAaaaggghhhhh!!!!  I take it off because she is right.  I thought b/c I was only going less than a mile, I could break the rule, but not when my child is watching and wanting to enforce it.  I then had to go through the whole process of putting it on her and her crying about the sleeves when we got to the hospital too.

Then, frustrated, tired, sick, and just ready to get on with life, the lady checking us in insists on small talk.  She asked me how the roads were.  I said, I don't know they're okay.  She asks, are they better than they were this morning?  And I don't know.  I don't know what to say.  I can't lie and say they are fine or they are bad.  And I'm frustrated at myself for not knowing the answer.  It seems like a simple question, why am I too stupid to answer it?  I told her I hadn't left my house in a week, so I can't compare it to what the roads were like.  (which somehow was an easy lie, I did leave once).  I said that statement in such a rude way to imply, Do Not Ask Again.  But, she did.  But are they bad?  I finally told her you can see the cement on the main roads and its snowy on the sides.  It wasn't until I was in the room that I realized she asked about roadS, plural.  I had only driven on one road to get there, a back road, and I didn't get over 20 mph the entire 5 blocks.  I JUST DON"T KNOW WHAT THE ROADS WERE LIKE I DIDN"T GO ON THEM.

Here are other things I learned in the last two or three days:

1.  Bridget Jones Diary is a sad sad knock off of Pride and Prejudice.  Complete with Colin Firth playing a man named Mr. Darcy.
2.  Bridget Jones Diary came out in 2001, so when I was a senior in high school.  It really shaped what I thought adulthood should be like, only in that I thought she was the stupidest person ever.  I would never be like that.  And I am not.
3.  Much of the movie is about how pathetic she is to be a 33 year old single woman all alone.  She has a good job and her own very cute nice apartment.  She is all alone!  All I want is that.  Just to be alone.  To keep my house the way I like it.  To be in complete control of my living space.  I did not pity her fake patheticness.  She was not pathetic.  Pathetic is wearing a see through shirt to work to flirt with your boss and then be surprised to find out he's a cheating douchbag.  I saw that coming a mile away when I was 18!
4.  Colin Firth is the best Mr. Darcy ever to play the character.
5.  I saw another love story movie that was very very terrible.  I don't even know what it was called, I just needed something to play while I knitted and it had to be bad enough to not warrant being watched.   It had a very very very young Wolverine in it (Hugh Jackman).  I've never seen him that young before, and clean shaven.  Anyways, the main character and her non-wolverine boyfriend were looking for apartments to rent and the realtor was all, This one has a view of the World Trade Center.  Then they just loved the apartment and wanted to live there.  I was all....World Trade Center view? That's depressing.  When was this made?  I figured it had to be made before 2001.  Well, I was mostly right.  It was released in 2001, but must have been before September 11.  This experience made me see how much life and the world and our view of the world as Americans has changed since that day.  There truly is a Before and an After 9/11.  Before 9/11 the WTC was mentioned in movies as a good happy thing.  After 9/11, it's not mentioned unless it's in the context of 9/11.  With the exception of possibly locally, there is no Before/After of the Oklahoma City Bombing.  That was my first experience with what is now called Terrorism.  I won't forget the fireman picture with the child.

Well, that's a depressing ending.

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