I had written that a goal I had was to establish a routine. I'm starting small. I'm getting up and drinking my coffee and writing. It's hard in that I can't do it by time, but on the fly as I go. I can't say what time Lilly will wake up. Will she wake up at 6? At 7? At 8? And that determines the start of the daily routine. Now, I have a second child added to the mix. When will he get hungry and demand 30 min of my time? Then immediately after, Lilly will need something too. I could wake up at 6 or 5 every morning and have about an hour to myself. It's just scary. I don't like being tired and I love my bed in the morning.
Maybe I'll try it tomorrow.
Oh, and to throw things up. Josh either works 2 days or 3 days in a row. So on the other days, that he's home, times again change.
No wonder I want a routine. It's just going to have to be a flexible and complex one, requiring lots of self control.
Lilly brushed her teeth yesterday. I'm finding it nicer for everyone if I get her in her pj's and ready for bed before Josh gets home. And her teeth get brushed more. Yesterday I had to go take care of Damian, and I told Lilly so, and she said she could pick out and put on her own pajamas herself, and she did!!! They even matched because she really likes it when they match, top to bottoms.
What else? What else?
Yesterday we went to the library. Oma visited for 15 min and I was able to take out all the garbage, get a load of laundry started, and show her my knitting. I made chili for dinner to last three days. It's delicious. I used a spice profile inspired by Patti's Kitchen Table (a PBS cooking show featuring Patti who cooks mexican food). It was my second time making it, and the first time making it without all of the ingredients. I was able to add notes to it so that it will match my chili preferences and abilities. I don't think I will ever own ancho chili powder. But I do have dried ancho chilis! What a world I make myself.
I cleaned yesterday. Two days ago I participated in a family dance party and I learned that my jumping skillz are non-existent. Big Momma Can't Jump. I bought and cleaned a head of lettuce to help me eat better, and then at lunch I ate a proper amount of carbs.
My mantra is not DIET! B/c I would just fail that. Look at my routine, it's a routine of feelings and flow, like a river is a routine. My food intake also can't be dictated by a set of arbitrary rules. Instead, I think about making good choices, and forgiving myself when I don't. For example, I did not eat the entire thing of pasta noodles with vinegar for lunch yesterday. I ate one serving, then got up and made myself a sandwiche with lettuce instead of bread. A good decision. Ate dinner time, while making Lilly's dinner, I ate a cruller (funny looking egg donut). A not as good decision, but a delicious one! The other day I left the house hungry at lunch time with cash in my pocket. I made the decision not to get fast food, but I still got me a doctor pepper. This last Wednesday, I chose not to get the Oreos at the grocery store...but I still chose that Doctor Pepper. Don't worry, I average about 2-3 Dr. Peppers a week. Not daily. If it was daily, I would be very worried. It's an addiction and quitting addictions is a shit experience. If I need that caffeine, I'll just have coffee or black tea. This summer I plan on ice cold green tea, not Dr. Peppers. My intake increases in summer due to the heat.
That's funny. I worry more about the sugar intake than the addiction to caffeine.
When I'm STARVING and scrounging around for a quick snack, I've been settling on a small handful of almonds. I bought them, they are damn expensive, I might as well eat them. And I think that and I don't buy me chocolate covered sugar granola bars.
Do you know what feels good? Putting all of your groceries on the conveyer belt and knowing you have a proper selection of food that no one can judge you for. Do you know what makes you laugh? Buying a 6 pack of craft beer, a bottle of wine, a bomber of beer, a 12 pack of cheap beer, and 2 jugs of milk. Then paying for hte milk with WIC and paying for the Christmas (gifts and several parties worth) of alcohol in cash.
My jet.com order came in. They place orders at several different places, so I got about 3 or 4 packages straggling in over a span of a week, but I think it's all here now. I did like it a lot. I was able to order and have delivered to my door everything I usually get at walmart. Now, is it cheaper at walmart? I have no damn idea, but I do know my time and sanity is more valuable than whatever I might or might not be overpaying. This way also, I don't get stuck buying impulse buys and presents for my children, which I will do if I go to walmart. I can't not spoil my babies!
I have one more package in the mail that I'm waiting on. It's coming from China, so it should get here sometime in February. Ugh. It's a sweet ass cat hat. I can't describe it more b/c that would ruin the surprise. I hope it fits my giant head.
If you click this LINK, you can read a poem and see a knitting project I want to make, at the same time.