Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Maybe I'm Not as Good at Not Being Passive Aggressive as I Thought

I was reading a humor blog called Passive-Aggressive Notes when I came across this posted note.
Passive-Aggressive Notes is a website where people submit pictures of passive aggressive notes they run across in their daily life.  It has helped me a lot because as an undergrad, I may have left a few quite angry passive notes.  I no longer do that.

Anyways, the title of the specific note is "What's black and white and red all over?"  The answer of course is a Newspaper.  I heard this joke a lot when I was younger.  I almost feel like it was on some sort of children's cassette.  But I have never ever ever gotten it because there is no red on a newspaper!  It's most clearly black and white.  Then when I saw this note on the website, I realized that they meant RED, as in communist.  Probably back in the day before I was born the media was portrayed as communist brainwashers instead of liberal brainwashers...or something.

I will now file the joke under "Before My Time" and stop worrying about it.

I can definitely tell there is an age gap at work.  So far today I have referenced the TV show Archer: "MSG - The FLAVA ENHANCA!" and I referenced Katamari (my favorite PS2 game) and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy: What's the meaning of life? "42" and I have yet to have one person connect the reference.    Possibly it's not an age gap but that I enjoy the Geek Life and they enjoy going to bed at 7:30, two and a half hours after they get home from work.

I had to go to lunch with some nice people and one person who continuously made inappropriate sexual jokes that made me uncomfortable and reached the level of maturity of a 15 year old.  And if he wasn't doing that, he was talking to make himself look superior to another lunch person by his unbelievable knowledge of wasabi.

Here's an example of a joke:
"How do you get a nun pregnant?"
"You F*** her!"

The splat occurred when I whipped out my Invisible Inflatable Pocket Tank and blew him away.

On the way to the restaurant and on the way back I sat in front and made three grown men sit in back.  I don't regret it at all.  The old me would have felt bad b/c I'm the smallest, I should sit in the middle in the back so the boys don't have to touch other boys.  The new me says, I am a lady and I don't want to touch any boys.  AND it's only fair because if they INSIST on being chivalrous and holding the door open for me (despite my multiple times of asking that they don't do that), it should only be expected that I sit in front too.  Chivalry and all.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Lists of Grateful and Awesome

A List of Things That I Am Grateful For:

1.  Readily available fresh food, and if not that, readily available cheap food
2.  Taco Bell 1/2 lb. Beef Combo Burritos, volcano tacos, and my newest TB love: The Meximelt
3.  Brussel sprouts
4.  A funny husband (usually)
5.  Parents who try their best (you can't reasonably ask for more)
6.  Ackbar:  A cat who doesn't demand attention most of the time, who only meows some of the time, and is tolerant of all of my cat loving behavior (hugging until his head pops off (not really!))
7.  Such a mild fall, it's nice being able to wear skirts in November
8.  My confidence in myself to participate in No-Shave November and still wear a skirt.  No one should be looking that closely at my legs anyways!
9.  Uni-ball Signo #207 pens with check signing permanent ink.  They are my favorite pens and come in pink.
10.  Firewood for our fireplace
11.  A husband who can vacuum and folds clothes better than I do. (and more often!)
12.  Fresh water available at almost all times
13.  My smart phone...though I hate it most of the time.  I pay for it, I better like it.
14.  The ability to play games on my phone.  It's the only way to calm the nerves on a car ride.
15.  I am thankful to have an income
16.  For friends who enjoy science experiments, even if they show that I have incredibly high blood sugar. (see number 2 on the list)
17.  Actually, I'm grateful that most of taco bell's "meat" is not all meat.  The filler is most likely corn or soy, and so I'd rather be eating that than more mystery meat probably made of cow tongues that, if properly processed, have the tonsils removed.
18.  I am grateful for Pandora
19.  For childhood trips out west.  It's not many people that can say they've driven and seen most of the west and the east, and now the south!  If I may say so, it makes me smarter and more worldly.
20.  For being generally awesome and worldly Pha pha pha, I'm so fancy. (so I have a hard time admitting publicly all the reasons I'm awesome)

New List:  Why I'm Awesome
1.  I do not like ham.  Especially if it is spiralled and honey glazed.  Awesome.
2.  I like cats.  Cats = Awesome = me
3.  Lindy and Lions both start with L, clearly, we should be grouped together in awesomeness catagories.  Also lions are cats.
4.  I can and enjoy wearing heals.  A lot.
5.  I understand the secret of getting dressed and choosing outfits (wear what you are most comfortable in, love it, and then rock it! Simps really)
6.  I have excellent taste in housing decorations.
7.  I am forever trying to improve myself and how I interact with others (i'm not sure if this is awesome or not, I feel that it's what's destroying me, but it is what I do)
8.  I can explain to you exactly how a volcano erupts...heeee which is that we aren't exactly sure how, but here are three possible theories and why some are more feasible than others and that it all depends on which volcano type you are asking about
9.  I read fast
10.  I'm super good at google research.  Like amazing at it.  Sometimes I wonder how other people can accomplish or know anything because they can't do such simple things like Google searching something, skim it, and then choose the best articles present.  Maybe I should do a post on that?

Well, 10 things was hard to do.  I feel this is long enough.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Procrastinating is the Best on Fridays

Happy Friday once again.

I am currently procrastinating a phone call to a man who shares a name with my Dad but is one million times more confusing.  He doesn't only talk backwards, but leaves out important words and says he's calling about form FS4 something, but he can't remember.  Like I know off the top of my head what that form is.

I filled out a personal health report with my insurance, and they will send me $25 for it.  Josh gets $25 once he does it too.  I suppose we should put it towards something healthy....groceries?  How much will health insurance cost under Obamacare?  I hope it's less than $#000 a year.  That's what I'm paying and Josh hasn't gone to the doctor at all!! Why am I paying that much to cover him if he won't take care of himself?  Goodness.  The personal health care plan made me angry because all it did was help me organize and list what I already knew: I'm over weight, I don't work out enough and my stress levels are off the charts.  Duhr.  $25 for reminding me of what's wrong with me.

When I voted there was a mom and her very nice son with her.  He had just turned 18 two weeks ago, and she was soooooo proud of him voting.  He held both sets of doors open for her and me because that's what his momma taught him to do.  It was one of the first times I didn't feel weak because a male had to hold the door for me.  It may be because he was younger than me, not older.  His mom waited in line with him and took a picture of him behind the voting console.  Not in a creepy illigal way, no.  In a proud parent way.

I must complain here.  I have a lot of complaints and I hope this one seems harmless enough.  If you fall into the category that you are offended by this...well, I guess, that's your problem and you should probably rethink your delivery of words.  But a lot of people I know voted early and when they told me or whoever asked them about it that they did, it was generally always in a smug I'm-Better-than-you-because-I-avoided-long-lines way.  Yeah...I could have voted early if I wanted, but maybe I like The Line Ride.  Maybe I am expert line rider.  Maybe by voting on voting day, I get to spend more time with interesting people than with your smug ass.  Then on voting day, everyone I talked to who voted in the morning was just as smug as the early voters because "I only had to wait 45 min in line, unlike you who will vote in the evening."  Riiiiiiiiight.  See, what upsets me the most is because everyone lacked the knowledge and respect I deserve for being smarter than all of them combined.  I knew I get 1 hr off work to vote and I knew most people may too, and will get there between 3:45 and 5:00.  I also knew my supervisor was leaving on travel at noon.  So I left 1.5 hrs early and got in line (third in line mind you, after the mom and her son) at 3:30.  I waited 5 minutes.  I didn't wake up early, I didn't early vote, and I don't care when anyone else voted, so long as they voted.

It all went according to my plan and I'm pissy at everyone who assumed I didn't have a plan just because I didn't talk about it. 

I have taken up painting with water colors as a hobby. I should scan them in for you.  I'll put that on my list of other should do stuff.  I'm sure it'll happen right away.  So far I have painted Ackbar in a dream of tuna and grass, a colorful fish, and a dragon fly as if in an alchemy notebook.  I'm really enjoying it, even though I get nervous.  I never really know what to paint and I don't ever know if I'm doing it in the best way possible.  Am I using the best paints of the paints I own? Am I mixing them correctly?  Are the brushes I'm using actually water color brushes? What makes a brush a good brush for water color?  Am I caring for them right? Does it matter if I take extreme good care of them or not? I mean, I did get both sets I'm using for free.  Am I painting right?  Am I using the best technique? Am I using too many colors? I love to use all of the colors, but then I feel like all of my paintings look the same and overly busy.  I use a little plastic lid as my water brush rinser b/c it fits in this awesome portable painting kit thing Josh's mom made me.  Yesterday Ackbar laid half in the water while watching me paint.  And completely on my paint color mixer lid.  It was very annoying.  I think he was irritated that I wasn't painting him again.  He's very vain and concerned about his looks, as well as very sensitive.  Physically and emotionally.  Poor guy is going to have a hard life.  Trust me, I know.

Better give that person a call. 

Monday, November 5, 2012

Muffins and Such

I think this is the third blog post that I've started and not posted or saved.  I just don't have much to say any more.  I have no words left in me at the moment.  Or what I do have is much to negative and angry to talk about.

I went on a photo scavenger hunt this weekend for a friend's birthday.  I was pretty nervous at first because it involves teamwork, problem solving, and driving.  All things I'm not the greatest at.  Well, that's a lie.  I'm an amazing driver.  I just happen to purchase a truck so I don't have to drive people around all the time.  I'd rather help them move.  And that's the truth.

Anyways, I was worried for nothing.  The scavenger hunt was pretty awesome and my team one!! We were trying to get a picture of a sleeping cat with our entire team, but Josh's team made it to our apartment first and woke up Ackbar!  I think Ackbar made out worst in this game because both Josh and I showed up at 5:30, Tuna Time, brought in a bunch of people, ran around acting all weird, and then left without feeding him!  Poor "little" guy.

Home base for the scavenger hunt was womanned by another friend, and she was also in charge of watching the babies.  Afterwards, Josh got to help a 2 yr old organize crayons on the table.  He enjoyed it a lot.  I asked her how old she was and she told me, but I couldn't hear her.  I felt bad because she DID answer, but everyone acted like she didn't, just cause I couldn't hear.

Oh, here is a nice thing that happened.  You know the feeling when you find a 5$ or better yet, a $20, in your winter coat pocket a year later?  Well, I was cleaning out a travel bag that I know longer use, and I found an old check in it from work for $172!!!  Bonus!

Yesterday me and a friend worked together to clean my house.  We take turns helping each other organize our houses on Sundays.  It was great because I got the year old stack of Goodwill stuff finally taken out!  I made banana nut muffins without nuts.  They are just okay because I really love nuts in my banana nut muffins, but I'm now allergic to walnuts and don't stock pecans in my house.  I used a mixture of rice flour, soy flour, ground flax seed, and some tapioca starch to replace wheat flour.  I just "felt" the mixture to figure out what the ratio should be.  Too much rice flour and it would be gritty and fall apart, too much soy and it was be sorta slimy and not "bready" like regular muffins.  Flax seed doesn't do much, so it's more of a bonus, and just a little tapioca starch (table spoon) to help hold it all together so the muffing doesn't crumble.  They turned out pretty good consistency wise.  I might add more rice flour next time and less soy.  The texture is slightly too smooth/slimy.  It's hard to describe a dry muffin as slimy, but that's all I got.