Friday, June 29, 2012

Listicle



 1.  In fifty years when no one remembers what it was like without mandated healthcare, what will it be like?  How will my kids feel about it?
2.  Vagina
3.  The other day I discovered looking at peoples faces.  Each face is different.  The part I find most weird is seeing how people of other ethnicity faces are different from each other. For the first time I was able to not see the difference in color, but to see color as I do in rocks.  In rocks/minerals one of the most important things I taught the intro kids is to never ever ID a mineral based on color.  Color doesn't matter, it's how the rock is made up and what it is made out of that defines what it is.  You appreciate the colors in rocks, but color is not generally used in your analysis and conclusion.  How did it take this long for me to apply it to people?
4.  Why is the Penis game a thing?  Why does the PEN 15 club exist?  Why isn't there a Vagina game?  Or the Vagina Club?  So I'm no longer ten and couldn't immediately think up of a funny Vagina Club joke.  Equal rights is equal rights and I want vagina jokes.
5.  The heat is making Ackbar moody and angry.
6.  I have found an interest in a new hobby.  I find hobbies scary because they usually only last a short period of time and then I move on to the next best thing and I feel like a failure for not sticking to one thing and becoming an expert at it before moving on.  It has always been that I never finish a project before starting the next one.  So to stop that from happening, I try not to start projects.
7.  Oh yeah, the new hobby is not really new.  It's playing Magic: The Gathering card game.  I've actually been playing it off and on since 6th grade, but now I have friends that have gotten into it. I really like building my deck...that's where the strategy is I think, not during the play, but setting yourself up before hand for a good game.  The point is, I am enjoying having a hobby that involves complex thinking and planning but does not stress me out.  It's not about winning (I'd say that I win 50% of the time now that I've started drinking Tiger Blood), but I find the point to be creating the deck that I want to create.  I have two more deck ideas:  One is going to be an All Rat Deck and another is going to be with the Soulbond creatures.  
8.  "Mermaids don't have pussies.  Cats hate getting wet."  That was my closing argument with Josh one morning on whether or not you can have sex with a mermaid.  I say no.  Do you think The Little Mermaid wanted to become human just so she could have two legs??  I think not....she made it very clear she wanted to get it on with the prince.
9.  I feel that in some ways adults have betrayed me.  I was always taught that if I was in trouble to go to a policeman.  That all policemen are nice people and are your friend.  And I did once, and the policeman was rude, didn't understand why I was talking to him, and could have cared less about my problems.  That is always my experience when interacting with cops.  That's why I don't like authority...they rarely prove to me that they are worthy of the responsibility.  Okay, so maybe the problem is more that adults taught me that policemen were superheros and always perfect, but in real life they are just regular people working to get a paycheck and probably hate kids. 
10.  Once on Christmas Eve, Santa came to visit at my Oma's house and passed out chocolate letters.  Then he left, and some of my older cousins saw him leaving on his sleigh in the sky out the window.  They crowded the window and I was too small to get up close or to see over their heads.  It was a very disappointing time for me.  I wanted to see flying magic reindeer.  
11.  The AC is making me moody.  I moved down here to be HOT and you can't go anywhere with out AC and nothing is set up right to turn it off and regulate the heat with out it.  I have to dress for winter in the morning because my office is so darn cold I needed layered sweaters to be warm...DURING A HEAT WAVE.  






 

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Portfolio

When I was in 6th grade we made portfolios and learned how they will help us get a job.  Even then I knew that I needed A Job when I grew up.  That has been my whole focus, like an arrow shooting towards a target, my entire life.  Get all A's in high school so I can get scholarships to go to college.  Get all A's in college so I can get A Job.  Go to graduate school so I can FOR SURE get A Job.

I have never ever spent time thinking about what A Job is.  A job is where you go all day, do shiza, then get paid.  You need to get paid so you can do what you actually like doing.  I didn't even know what A Job could be!  As far as my experience went, one could be a lawyer, an insurance agent, a politician, a doctor, a teacher, self-employed, a construction worker, a mechanic, a vet, or a farmer.  If you weren't one of those you worked in retail or at a restaurant.   I tried asking a friend's husband once what he did all day in his job as a social worker.  He said "sit in meetings all day".  I could not comprehend what one did in meetings all day that warranted getting paid. 

Now I have my job and I understand.  There are two job types out there, accomplishing stuff with your hands and accomplishing stuff with your computer and emails and meetings.  Guess which type I think I prefer?

I've been going back and thinking about my long term career and what it is I actually want to do.  Then I wonder if it is even possible for me to do what I want?  And I've come to the decision that, yes, yes it is possible, but it might require being brave and working really hard and starting from the bottom.

I want to work for a mine, long-term, as a mine geologist, but I want to start out (and probably continue on my "easy" days) driving those large dump trucks!!  And the other mining equipment!  If I can't do that, I want to drive a garbage dump compactor (GIANT bulldozer) and work my way up to solid waste program manager.  Maybe I can become trained in driving CAT equipment for construction companies or state/federal road service programs. 

I think the hard part will be getting the men in charge to take me seriously.

Anyways, I spent the last 15 years, since 6th grade..we're going to assume that's 15 yrs,  wondering what the hell it is I should be saving for my portfolio, where is my portfolio, why don't I have an up to date one, and on the edge of freaking out because I don't have one and if I don't have one how will I get a job.  Just like during high school graduation when the speaker went on and on about networking and that's how you get a job, and I knew nothing about networking!  I even have researched it and read up on how to do it in the past 10 yrs.  But, today, of all days, I have figured it out.

Networking is hard but it isn't about making friends.  It's about meeting people and remembering them and being non-annoying business friends.  Business friends and regular friends are different.  Do you know how you can tell the difference?  You burp and wear jeans and faded tshirts in front of friends.  You are polite and dress in heels in front of your business friends, and never ever talk about farting.

And, let's just say I have one sweet portfolio now.  I have 9 certificates since I started working here.  Two are from the last two weeks!!!  Traveling has paid off.  Certificates are better than cash (almost).  AND whenever I do a large project, I write down all the notes from it and examples of my work and save it in my personal file.

Because all of this will help me reach my goal of driving the vehicle with the largest tires.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Xtreme Couponing!

Today I am going to tell you about my last trip to Target.

It all started with the trip before the last trip to Target.  Josh noticed that one of the printed out coupons would give me a 5$ gift card during my next pharmacy purchase.  It just so happened that my next pharmacy purchase was the very next day!  I knew I was going to get a 5$ gift card, and I knew the best way to screw Target over was to purchase something I was going to buy anyways.  This meant I had to decide what I was going to buy before I got there.  I went online and found Target's printable coupon page and sorted through and printed out the coupons I would probably use. I got one for $1.83 off mouthwash and $1 off Sensodyne toothpaste.  Both of which we use on a regular basis.

The night before I put out the item I wanted to return, the receipt, the coupons, and the ink cartridge I wanted to recycle.  This way, in the morning while getting ready for work everything I needed for Target was in one place and I just had to transfer it all to a little re-usuable bag I had.

I get to Target and I return my item for $16 back on my credit card.  I use my pharmacy rewards card and get my meds for $4, not $8, and I get the $5 gift card.  I then go pay for the toothpaste and mouthwash which after the coupons came to $4.17!  I have $0.83 left on the card!

That is my super couponing experience.  The $16 return was more of a bonus than anything. 

I also have a Mapco Rewards card and they load it with free stuff.  Which means if I pay attention online and to my emails, I know what will be free if I use the Mapco Rewards card.  I was able to get a free energy drink for my trip this week!  I also got 3 cents off every gallon of gas I purchase at a Mapco.  The best part is I use my rewards card when work is paying for the gas in the rental on trips!!  I'm saving them money and getting me extra points!  Right now I get 12 cents off 20 gallons once I reach 1750 points.  I'm at 231 points.  I might change it so I get free king size double peanut butter reeses cups for every 500 points.  I bought 2 this week already.  I eat them for breakfast or lunch or dinner sometimes when I'm on travel.  Especially on the days I'm driving.

I like to wear my sunglasses in Target so that people are annoyed with me and stay away from me. I remove them when I  talk to the workers.  You've got to respect the workers.


Monday, June 18, 2012

Nashville

Last night Josh and I were watching the basketball game, Miami vs. Oklahoma City.  I am of course cheering for Oklahoma City, I'm always a fan of the underdog.  Plus, NOT a fan of Lebron James.  Not at all.  Especially after this game, he was rutheless and cocky and broke all of the rules because he knew he could.

This was the first time I've watched TV and probably over a month (minus a few hours of Cupcake Reality TV Game Show on Food Network).  I'm always surprised when I start watching tv after a hiatus by all of the commercials.  There are movies coming out that I didn't know about like Spiderman and a funny looking one with Vince Vaugn and Ben Stiller.  Then there was a commercial with floating neon basketball shoes.  I don't know what that one was about.  There was also a commercial that sucked me in, made me happy and basically worked.  Well, except that I don't remember now what it was selling, I think maybe car insurance or cable tv.  It's the commercials where they tell a story and it slowly gets more and more bizarre. 

After those commercials came one for a reality tv show.  I could tell because it only showed parts of a person and there was a stage and lights.  I didn't know what type of reality it was, someones life, a talent show, I still don't know.  But after 5 seconds of watching the commercial I was disgusted.  It was terrible whatever it was! It was like watching something disgusting, it's horrible and you want to look away, but you just can't.  I said to Josh "This looks REALLY bad."  And not even a funny, ironic bad.  Just plain bad.  And as I finished saying that, the name of the show popped up on the screen:

NASHVILLE

Josh and I just looked at each other in horror.  Josh said "That's where we live."  And I said "People are going to think that's how we live!"

Josh also wants to get on it.  I need to know what it's about first...but I'm thinking, not a bad idea.  I mean, better give the people what they expect!


Thursday, June 7, 2012

In Which I Am Very Very Angry

Goodness gracious. 

I had an excellent day with a very frustrating evening.

AND I CAN"T TELL YOU.  I have a full on vent inside of me and I can't let it out.  I can't even pretend.  I have a strict code of no personal complaining that includes other people on the internet.  Actually, I don't like to talk about any specific person I know because I didn't get permission first. Well, besides Josh.  I own his permission. (JUST KIDDING..SHEESH PEOPLE) I mean I could tell you the good parts of today, which I will, but not now.  I'm much to cynical right now to give my good parts due justice because they were fricken amazing.  Plus I have to get the picture of the alligator off my camera.

Agh it's killing me, not being able to write about it.  I really can't because its one of those "not really a big deal" but I'm annoyed as hell.  I could twist the story so good, you would all be loving me and giving me words of encouragement of how right I am and make me feel validated.  But really, it's not worth grieving such petty annoyances, and of course, my side is going to be completely biased and make me out as innocent.

Actually, it's me I'm talking about, I'm always right and innocent.  It's in my blood...no one in my family has been wrong. Ever.  Just ask them.

FYI:  Below rant is specifically targeted at my angers in general and really don't have much to do with what's above.  My annoyances expressed above are just that, annoyances.  Not drama.  If it was drama I don't think it'd even be worth my time mentioning it.

I am angry.  I am angry at the way the world works.  I am angry at money hungry people and I am angry at lazy people who complain and don't help (stereotype: middle class america).  I am angry at the author who wrote the book I'm listening to on this trip.  You can only use the phrase "perfection incarnate" so many times in so many different books before I start puking in my mouth.  I am angry that I can't find any romance novels better written than hers.  I am angry that she also happens to live in Nashville...well, I'm sure she lives in Franklin.  Franklin has everything.  Also, put Franklin on my list of things that make me angry.  Ant bites make me angry.  Making stupid mistakes in a Red Mustang make me angry because it makes me look like an asshole instead of a stupid person.  I am angry that they are blindly mining Mongolia dry, ruining my sole back up plan for life.  I am angry that I can't fly an airplane.  I am angry that in order to do so I'd have to join the airforce.  I'm angry that I didn't ever believe that was an option for me when I was younger and had options.  I am angry that I feel that all of my options are slipping away from me.  My life is about over really.  I am angry at the Christian Right...the crazy ones.  Didn't anyone ever explain to them what Separation of Church and State means?  I'm angry at English only supporters...it's called freedom of speech people and I can speak any way any how any where I want.  So long as it isn't slander.  I am tired of my basic rights as a human first and a woman second being pulled out from beneath my feet.  I'm angry that everyone always seems to argue with me and my views.  Why the hell can't I express them without someone trying to change my mind?  Stop preaching world!  ooooh I'm angry.  I am angry at all cable news.  I watched both FOX and CNN today and:  angry.  I am angry that the US doesn't feel the need to help Syria.  I am angry that I don't know what this whole election in Wisconsin is about.  And based off the news I watched, I think I'm angry at the result.

Whoa.  That last one shocked me out of my anger.  When did I start caring about politics?  When did I start following them?  WHEN DID I GET OLD!?!!?

You want to know why else I'm angry?  BECAUSE EVEN IF I JOINED THE AIRFORCE THEY DON"T LET WOMEN FLY PLANES.

Pisser.