Friday, March 5, 2010

A Poorly Made List

List all of the things that have happened to you only once in your entire life:

1. Well, I was going to say got married, but technically, Josh and I were married twice...
2. I also have lain awake all night long because it was so flipp'n cold out and my mom did not provide me with a warm enough sleeping bag, twice.

3. Oh, I know. I've only had to have surgery and use crutches once. And hopefully it will stay that way. You know the pointy bone on the outside of your ankle? Well, the bottom most screw in my line of 7 screws, is right on the end of that pointy-out bone, and the screw does not lay flush with the bone. It's sorta gone in at an angle. My bones were soft, like a "70 yr old woman's" when they did the surgery, and I think that may have affected the screwing. Anyways, sometimes I hit that screw on things like chair legs, or brush it against something when I am walking. It's soooo horrible and painful when that happens. I just drop and hold it and imagine the screw ripping through my skin from the inside. It's more horrible than painful I guess, but still painful, don't get me wrong...just not the most painful. I'd put the whole experience as being very very similar to hitting your funny bone...that's made me drop before too. I can feel the screw and make them stick out of the skin so you can see them in there. If you ever want to feel them just ask. I always offer to let people feel them, because if I was someone else, I would want to feel them too.

4. Put on a green glittery St. Patrick's day hat from the Dollar Spot at Target. Only once did I do that, and then I was covered in green glitter from the inside of the hat. Two days ago Josh saw one at Target and thought it was awesome and was about to put it on, and I was all "NNNNnnnooooooooooooo" (in slow motion)and leaped (Lept?)out and stopped him, for which he was very Thankful.

5. Scared a cat. I knew he was behind a bale of hay, he was a kitten so maybe not so bright, and I leaped around the corner and went "Yah!" and the kitten jumped straight up into the air and spread out all of it's paws and opened it's mouth in terror. Just like a cartoon. That was so awesome, I've remembered it ever since in great detail, and I was only 8-ish when I did it. And I've been trying to scare cats ever since...but they are tricky tricky animals.

6. Let a dog lick my lips and then liked it. Only once. I didn't even know her well, but she was a Pomeranian, and it solidified my absolute love for those dogs. Clearly though, my love for pomeranians is far below my love for cats.

7. I have seen a cow dance twice. One cow was just itching it's butt and the other cow was dying. I didn't know it was dying until it vomited bright green stuff (which I thought was AWESOME) and then fell down and died. My mom was not as amused or amazed as I was. Maybe this is why death does not make me sad?

8. I've only once gone on a mission trip. To Tijuana. Now promise that when you read that word you read it in a Mexican accent. It's the only way. I felt that we were doing more bad than good on that trip, and I didn't enjoy most of it. I pretended I did and I told myself that I did enjoy it for a long time. But now, I know that I didn't. I enjoyed parts of it, like when I had to lead the bible study, or laughing with Sarah, one of the girls I got to know on the trip. And getting to know my friend Megan better. But over all I didn't like it. I didn't see what was so wrong with the way the people were living...if they had enough food and were happy...why do have to Americanize them? That's what I felt we were doing...spreading American values instead of truely listening to them and their needs. Plus "real" mexican tacos were no where near as delicious as Taco Boy tacos.

9. Only once have I eaten at the Taco Bell on West End near Vandy. Only once and never ever again. Worst. Experience. Ever. So bad I can't even tell the internet.

10. Only once have I tried Zycam nasal spray, and I probably never will again.

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