I feel very stretched out. Everyone wants me for something. I need to work every Saturday at J.Jill (my fault I know), Calvin and Guil need to meet with me about my poster, I need to make my poster, and then go to San Fransisco (not paid) and possibly sleep on the floor b/c even though the trip is funded by grants we still need to squeeze 5 girls into a 4 person room.
Tonight I have to go right away after work to Vandy to meet with Calvin and Guil, then I have to go to my bible study. Tomorrow I have to work on my poster and make corn bread muffins and type up the recipe for a recipe exchange for work. Then on Wednesday we have our work holiday party and I get the afternoon off. And you would think this is a good thing but I am going to take that time to finish and print out my poster. Then go grocery shopping and cook dinner for my birthday, which Thursday. To celebrate my birthday (which would have been perfect to do on my afternoon off if I didn't have to do that poster) Josh and i are going to clean the apartment and decorate for Christmas. I want to be excited but i'm not...it just sounds like more work. Then on Thursday I have to go to Calvin's for a celebratory dinner because Danny and I finished our thesis. Which sounds nice and all, but I told Calvin thursday wouldn't work for me, Wednesday would. But I didn't say no strong enough I guess, because Danny couldn't go on Wednesday so we HAD to do it on Thursday. Friday was an option but I wasn't going to go without Josh and he only gets Wed and Thurs nights off. Then Friday is the Jesus People Group holiday party and I have to bring a side dish to that. And that starts at 6:30, but I wanted to have a get together for my birthday that night, but everyone is going to be at that instead. And then I work 10 - 6:30 at J.Jill's on Saturday and Sunday is J.Jill's holiday party from probably 8 or 9 till whenever. It is also Bosco's Holiday party and I am going to have to miss it because it doesn't start until 10 and that's my bedtime.
Yeah, on all those nights I want to try to go to bed by 10:30 at the latest. Riiiighhhtt...that never happens because Josh never gets home until 10:30-11. And so then I am tired all day at work b/c I only got 6 or 7 hours of sleep and it makes all of this even worse. I hate Christmas time and my birthday time. I hate obligatory Christmas parties that require you to bring food and make an effort. I hate that everyone just assumes that I want to go to all these things. I think that's what I dislike about all of this, because really, when am I not that busy? Never. It's just that I don't feel like I am choosing to do any of this, I am just being forced to, and I also am being forced to enjoy it because it's Christmas. I hate Christmas.
AND THEN my family and friends are always asking me "when are you coming home?" like that's what I want to do. When are you coming to Nashville? I live here now. When I'm coming home I'll tell you. And it won't be until it's warm in Michigan...and it'll only be because I have to. Since I was in elementary school I've planned on moving out of Michigan and to Europe or Canada or anywhere that's not Michigan and is exciting, and I've told people about this my whole life. And even after I've lived in Tennessee for 2 years, people are still "What? you're not coming home? You're moving FARTHER away?" Yeah...I've been telling you this for a while now.
About the whole visiting thing...don't worry I know it never happens. None of my family visits my Aunts and Uncles who live out of state on a regular basis, and none of Josh's New York family visit his dad in Michigan unless there's a wedding either. I always wonder why they decided to move so far away from their families. It makes me glad to know that they did though, I am not alone.
I didn't mean to be such a baby about all of this. Everyone is always busy. I want to be excited for all of these things...I can even drive my truck to them now! I'm just tired. I dont' get enough sleep and I just want it to calm down for a day or two so I can relax and go to bed on time. I also want this horrible mind numbing headache that is behind my eyes for 2 days straight to go away. I think if that went away, life would be a little easier...focusing my eyes wouldn't hurt so much. I also want Josh to work during the days. I should just make him...it's not imperative that he get as many hours as possible now. It's imperative that I see him more than a 1/2 hour in the morning before work.
Finally I was telling Josh last night, I finally have everything I want, a truck, a car, all-terrain tires, a growing wardrobe, no homework. My life is good. I just need to wait and ride this whole damn Christmas thing out and try to enjoy it.
Actually I still need a kitchen table and chairs. Then my life would be complete. We are up to 3 chairs now. Josh bought another camping chair from walmart the soul sucker, though their commercials this season are amazing and funny I am sad to admit. He also bought wood glue and fixed this broken wooden chair we have and is using it as a computer desk chair.
Josh went to Home Depot alone the Sunday or Monday after Thanksgiving. There were packs of 60 AA batteries for 10$ calling his name. He was smart and didn't buy them because we have rechargeable batteries and don't go through them as much as we used to anyways. I think it still hurt him deep to soul though not being able to buy them. BUT he did buy a 12 pack of fluorescent light bulbs and changed out almost every light bulb in the apartment. He was very excited about that. Which is cool and all, but they aren't as bright as what we were using, I suppose I'll get used to it.
I am wearing my winter skirt today, with what I thought were teal knee high socks, but I just looked at them and the magically changed from teal to navy on the way to work. I'm not even joking with you. They changed colors. I know because I liked the color they were when I bought them but I don't like this new color. I was also a little disappointed because they are built for tall people. I put them on for the first time this morning and they stopped on my knee. On it. Not just above it or just below it, but on it. Which means I am the one person this one size fits all sock can't fit. If I pull it all the way up and stop it on my knee, the second I start walking it will roll up on itself. So I pulled them down and have a lot of extra room at my toes.