Stay Away From My Tots!

A good example of life when I live at home with my mom.  The ironic part:  My dad's name is Carl.



Of the fights that I started, most were about how my mom put my food/ketchup/whatever in the wrong spot on my plate.  Sometimes I would be so angry I wouldn't eat dinner.  It wasn't until college when someone asked me why she just didn't let me do it myself.  Common sense really right?  Yes, but I'm ultimately lazy and there probably was JUST enough food cooked for us all and she had to portion it out correctly...I'm not sure.  What I want to know is, why didn't she ask me first where I wanted it.

See, the problem (if you want to call it a problem, I call it an adorable quirk), is that I picture things in my head really really well, and then expect them to be like that in real life.  So if I'm making two identical sandwiches for me and Josh, one is mine, and if he isn't thinking and grabs that one and eats it, the other one is tainted and does not taste as good to me.  Things go in a very specific place on my plate, but I can't tell you where that is because I don't know until I see the food, see the plate, and look deep inside myself for the proper place.  I feel where it should go.  I feel which piece of food I should eat.  I feel, in my heart, all of these things, and it's very very upsetting to me if it gets messed up.  I have a very hard time eating at family style restaurants and avoid them at all costs if I can. I DO NOT SHARE MY FOOD, unless I choose to on my own without people asking or influencing me.  If I decide to share it, then I really do want to, and do not mind in the least if you take me up on the offer.  Luckily Josh understands this and is very patient with me and allows me to pick which sandwich I want and is actively precise at dividing things equally in half.  To repay his kindness, I usually give him whatever I feel is the better half or piece. 

This also carries over to bagging groceries and packing things.

Once in college, there was this boy douchebag, and we were sort of interested in each other.  Really he was interested in getting a girlfriend of any kind and I was interested in making out.  But he was also a douchebag (hence the lack of girlfriends) and the most emotional crazy sad angry person I have ever met.   Yay college! Right?  Anyways, we were in the dinning commons with all of our friends (Josh included) and it was Tator Tot day!!  Which doesn't happen very often and is always good when it does.  So I had my Tots and was sooo happy, and the douchebag ate 3 of MY tator tots before we even sat down.  I was so mad at him that I made sure to eat them all even though I was so incredibly stuffed and did not really want them any more.

Josh really likes that story.  I tell it to him more as a warning than as a form of entertainment.