Well, I do want to talk about the snowstorm we had. But I need to upload some pictures first, which I can't do because my camera is not with me at the moment. Let's just say it started out awesome, and then I got annoyed and filled with anger. Because that's ultimately what snow and grey skies do to me, fill me with anger. In Michigan after 3 months of it and after wearing my wintercoat that gives me a second set of breasts for 3 months, this anger becomes ingrained in me. It becomes more subtle as well...but I can still feel it draining me and oppressing me. So I moved south. It's definitely one of my best decisions.
When I was in high school I had a boyfriend who I didn't see much, and I didn't know it then, but I am one of those girls who enjoys ALWAYS being around their guy. So imagine my torment, my pain, when I only got to see him for a few hours a week, maybe, after I was done working on a weekend. And one day I finally got him to agree to spend all day Saturday with me (also theater was over and I didn't have practice either). So it was Saturday morning, and BAM! world's hugest blizzard hit...which is what always happens. Snow always always always ruins my plans. My parents (smartly) didn't allow me to go drive in it to see him. I am also a person who doesn't deal well with disappointment, and that day I swore with all of my soul and all of my self that I would move out of Michigan and out of the snow as soon as I possibly could. And that's when I remember first truely knowing deep deep down that I would leave.
Because of that, part of me always regrets a little that I didnt' go out of state for undergrad...but I didn't know at the time it was even possible for me to do that. I also remember that if I didn't go to CMU I wouldn't have met Josh and probably wouldn't be the person I am today, and I like myself a lot. So it's okay.
Now you know my feelings about snow. Sunday morning are milk went bad. But the sun was shining and the snow had stopped, so we decided to go to the gas station and get milk and donuts. They sell really good donuts there, I think. I have never had one, but they look so good and I do love donuts. We left our apartment complex the way we normally do, and went down the hill and then tried to go up the next one that was covered in ice....and couldn't make it up. So we turned around and went the other way, and at that less steep hill was a cop car stuck, and getting towed out. The cop was pretty skeptical at my truck's ability to get up the hill, but either way, he wasn't going to let us try until he was gone. So I got out, whipped out my bags of sand and started yelling " YOU DOUBT MY TRUCK!!!!!!! MY TRUCK IS SWEETER THAN YOUR MEASLY LITTLE SOUTHERN COP CAR WILL EVER BE!!! YOU DON"T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO CONTINUE USING FORD TAURUSES AS COP CARS!!!! LAAAAMMMMMEEEEE!!!!" and I used my super human strength and evenly spread the sand out all over...leaped in through the window of my truck and drove the hell out of there.
Not really. We just turned around and went home and I spent the rest of the day dreaming about donuts.
Josh said he would go to the grocery store the next day (Monday) while I was at work and pick up milk and food for us. I asked him to get me a donut and I described exactly what I wanted. I wanted a cake donut that was glazed. None of those Krispy Kreme half air glazed donuts, a cake one. And if they didn't have that I wanted a cake one with sprinkles...valentine's day sprinkles are the best, and after that multi-colored. The all chocolate ones are okay as a last resort.
The next day, Josh repeated to me at least twice, word for word, and teased me too my exact specifications for my donut. As I was leaving work he was like, I forgot beer, can you stop on your way home and pick some up at the gas station? And I was all "really!?!?! Really?!?!?! UGGGhhh.....okay." And I put off my stop at Target I had to make to get the beer because I wasn't going to stop at two different places, during rush hour. So I get to the gas station...the one with the donuts...and I go in. As I'm entering one of the workers is leaving with a cigarette, bucket, and squeegy mop thing. I actually thought to myself "Well, she's going on a smoke break and won't be back." I get inside. There is no one in there except three people. One is a guy drinking coffee and doing homework on a little table. The girl who works behind the donut counter is racing around the store talking on her cell phone at top speeds really loudly in a different language and trying to pretend that she doesn't see me. I pick up the beer and walk to the counter, and in the back office I see the manager passed out hard core, head nodding and drool leaving her mouth. I was to shy to wake her up, so I walked around the store, picked out some chips and generally tried not to look like a freak. I thought about getting a donut, but thought about how Josh got me one, and that I didn't need two. Plus I dont' think there was anyway I could get the donut girl off her phone. I finally decided to leave and go to the other gas station 50 ft away, and I put the beer away. As I was leaving another man came into the store and promptly woke the manager up, so I came back, got the beer, paid and left.
At my apartment I just wanted to go inside and eat my donut, but first I had to rearrange my purse that was full of work laptop, shoes, and lunch that got spilled everywhere when I got my wallet out for the beer. And then I had to carry it all in and I was very angry. These small frustrations fill me with anger and irritability, especially unlocking the door, that's the worst. And I get inside and gently set down all my stuff, resisting the urge to throw it and I ask Josh "Did you get my donut?"
No. He forgot. He didn't even remember to tell me to get one when I stopped for beer. No.
He offered to go get me one now, and I told him no, the time has passed for donuts...I no longer want one. And then I told him "You should think about my needs more. I think about your needs all the time...like your need to do more housework. I'm always thinking about that."