Tuesday, December 13, 2011

In Which Technology Fights Back

What a busy time of year it is, isn't it?

I just returned from a work trip to Vegas. To answer my most commonly asked questions:
1.  I stayed in the Flamingo
2.  It was an updated room not an old one
3.  I did not leave the hotel for fear of getting lost and then sold as a sex slave
4.  I disapprove of Vegas's existance

Okay.  I got there.  Barely.  A marathon was going through the city and many of the major roads were closed and blocked off. My shuttle driver had to do some yelling in Russian to get us through and around.

My room had this amazing machine that played DVD's, CD's, ipods, and stuff with a special plug.  I had none of these things with me.  It had many large speakers hooked up to it, but I could not get the TV sound to play out of the speakers.  So that fancy gadget was worthless. 

The zipper on my luggage has reached its' last lap.  I almost thought I was going to have to cut my luggage open, but on my last try, the zipper finally worked right.

The light switch for the heat lamps in the bathroom are not located in the bathroom, they were located next to the entrance door.  That switch turned on the heat lamps and the closet light.  Not sure why.  Before I figured this out, I was taking a shower.  There was something in the shower that looked like broken plastic nobs.  They weren't pretty and fancy like the rest of the place, so I thought maybe that turns on the heat lamps, while you're already in the shower.  I was standing there, with the shower door open, waiting for the water to heat up, and I turned this lever from OFF to ON and those "broken" knobs shot water straight out at me and into the rest of the bathroom!  It was horrible and the heat lamps did NOT turn on.

There was also a tv in the mirror of my bathroom, but not a tub, so I could not lay in a bath and watch tv.  It also blocked my view of myself in the mirror, making it difficult to get ready in the morning.

Finally, the best part, once I figured it out, was the curtains opened and closed electronically by flipping a switch. 

And that was just my room.  I got lost every time I stepped out of my room.  Some elevators worked, some did not, and some would let the doors shut slooooowly and then nothing would happen.  There were flamingo's and ducks outside in a fake habitat. I  like watching them in the morning before I had to go to my meeting.  They would clean themselves by rubbing their heads on their feathers, spreading their natural oils around to help them float better.  Then they all tried to jump/fly down a little water fall.  Some ducks where less afraid than other ducks.  There was also a 30 lb albino catfish in there too.  Reinforced my determination to never eat catfish.

That was last week.

Saturday was my birthday and I turned 28, which is a really good number to be.  I never imagined myself this old before.  It seems though, that the older I get, the younger people think I am.  I was calling for room service in the hotel for food, and the lady asked me if she could speak to the adult in the room.  "Um, I am the adult."  Then we had to chat all about it, blah blah blah.

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