When I was young and silly, I broke up with a boy, and made the mistake of doing it in a garden area of one of Fremont's churches. Now occasionally, when I look at hometown wedding pictures, I see pictures of the bride and groom, and I think, That's where I broke up with XXX. I remember that moment well.
I like it in that I can see a spot that holds such great sadness and such great joy. I think I was even in a wedding and a picture that was in that spot too.
And of course I can't tag the photos on facebook with "Do you see that spot, where you and your husband are so happy? Yeah that spot. I broke up with a boyfriend there. You know him. It was very sad." Nope. Can't do that even though the thought amuses me.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Last Weekend of Summer
What a weekend! It was one of the like I haven't seen in a long time!
There was adventure, there was drinking and cleaning, there were movies, there was love, fighting and steak!
On our way back from finding us wine, two bottles of slightly higher than bottle shelf wine, Josh heard from the open window of my truck, screaming. It could be one of two things....one, someone went crazy and was shooting people at the movie theatre, or two: THE CARNIVAL WAS BACK!
Josh soon figured out it was option two and drove us past. There were maybe 8 rides, 3 food stands and 30 people, all in the back parking lot of the Hickory Hollow Mall. A mall that doesn't allow children under 17 inside unattended on Friday or Saturday nights. We waited in the ticket line and the old man carny couldn't hear and tried to sell Josh 10 tickets instead of three. Josh got that fixed a lot easier than I would have and we went to wait to be loaded on the Ferris Wheel.
That was $6 (total) for one of the most scarey rides of my life. The whole thing wobbled and creaked the entire time. The seats and everything involved in the Ferris Wheel was dirty. The man running it was making fun of the 3 yr. old who was screaming to be let off, which meant I couldn't scream no matter how much I wanted to. I also decided that Ferris Wheels are not romantic, just scary and dirty. Josh tried to kiss me but I was too scared to move my head, so I could only move my lips towards him.
I still had nervous butterflies in my stomach when we reached my truck on the way back, and Josh mentioned that we should have bought flasks and did shots of vodka up in the Ferris Wheel. That thought made me almost throw up right there. No way would I ever ever do that!
That night, Josh and I played Pirates Drinking Dice, which I won 2 times! Based more on my luck of the rolls than my ability to bluff. I can't actually bluff, but Josh thinks I can, so that helps a little too. We also sat around and discussed the government and wars, etc.
On Saturday we went to the $1.50 movie, and for half the amount of a Ferris Wheel ride, we watch the new X-Men movie. It was good. Not Iron Man or Batman good, but it was decent. I'd say I spent the right amount of money on seeing it and it didn't waste my time. The young Charles Xaviar actor looks like my chiropractor though. That was unsettling. Also, to my utter dismay, the ultimate bad guy in the movie was played by non other than Kevin Bacon. Bleh. I dislike looking at him with a passion. I've always disliked him. Luckily he was evil in the movie and I didn't have to like his character.
Sunday I went to Church and Grocery shopping while Josh worked.
Then we grilled a steak and made Chimichuri sauce from garlic, oil, and parsley. It was amazing! One of the best steaks ever.
Today school starts for Josh and summer is over.
There was adventure, there was drinking and cleaning, there were movies, there was love, fighting and steak!
On our way back from finding us wine, two bottles of slightly higher than bottle shelf wine, Josh heard from the open window of my truck, screaming. It could be one of two things....one, someone went crazy and was shooting people at the movie theatre, or two: THE CARNIVAL WAS BACK!
Josh soon figured out it was option two and drove us past. There were maybe 8 rides, 3 food stands and 30 people, all in the back parking lot of the Hickory Hollow Mall. A mall that doesn't allow children under 17 inside unattended on Friday or Saturday nights. We waited in the ticket line and the old man carny couldn't hear and tried to sell Josh 10 tickets instead of three. Josh got that fixed a lot easier than I would have and we went to wait to be loaded on the Ferris Wheel.
That was $6 (total) for one of the most scarey rides of my life. The whole thing wobbled and creaked the entire time. The seats and everything involved in the Ferris Wheel was dirty. The man running it was making fun of the 3 yr. old who was screaming to be let off, which meant I couldn't scream no matter how much I wanted to. I also decided that Ferris Wheels are not romantic, just scary and dirty. Josh tried to kiss me but I was too scared to move my head, so I could only move my lips towards him.
I still had nervous butterflies in my stomach when we reached my truck on the way back, and Josh mentioned that we should have bought flasks and did shots of vodka up in the Ferris Wheel. That thought made me almost throw up right there. No way would I ever ever do that!
That night, Josh and I played Pirates Drinking Dice, which I won 2 times! Based more on my luck of the rolls than my ability to bluff. I can't actually bluff, but Josh thinks I can, so that helps a little too. We also sat around and discussed the government and wars, etc.
On Saturday we went to the $1.50 movie, and for half the amount of a Ferris Wheel ride, we watch the new X-Men movie. It was good. Not Iron Man or Batman good, but it was decent. I'd say I spent the right amount of money on seeing it and it didn't waste my time. The young Charles Xaviar actor looks like my chiropractor though. That was unsettling. Also, to my utter dismay, the ultimate bad guy in the movie was played by non other than Kevin Bacon. Bleh. I dislike looking at him with a passion. I've always disliked him. Luckily he was evil in the movie and I didn't have to like his character.
Sunday I went to Church and Grocery shopping while Josh worked.
Then we grilled a steak and made Chimichuri sauce from garlic, oil, and parsley. It was amazing! One of the best steaks ever.
Today school starts for Josh and summer is over.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Blog on Blogs
So maybe you've been wondering, Does Lindy solely enjoy writing about herself? What are her motivations? Why? oh WHY!? does she blog?
I highly doubt you have been wondering that because it is my personal belief that all people think 90 to 99% about themselves most of the time and 10-1% about others the rest of the time. And not in a selfish way, but in a natural human way. Thought like "How does this affect me?" "What does this imply about me?" etc. I bet it's people like Mother Theresa who think about themselves less and other more. And I ain't no Mother Theresa.
Since that's been settled, I am going to go ahead and answer the questions I'm pretending you're thinking about.
I started blogging my sophomore year of college on LiveJournal. It was one of the first blogging forums I knew about and you had to get an invitation from someone to join and you got one invitation to give out. I really wanted to readers, so I told a boy that I don't know if I liked or not because he was not my boyfriend at the time, but at one point in my past we tried to date, but it didn't work out. Anyways, I told him to read my blog and he said he didn't want to if I wasn't going to write in it everyday. Challenge accepted. I posted almost everyday for an entire year. I'm pretty darn sure he never read it once. But that's okay. I got in the habit of writing and thinking about things to write about. Then when I went to Grad School I joined MySpace (don't worry if you don't know what that is...it no longer matters.) and I wrote there. Turns out though I can only get readers there if they also belong to MySpace, then MySpace died. Finally I made a big decision (and it was hard, this is actually my SECOND blogger blog) to go "public"...like super public. With that decision I had to apply all of the lessons I've learned along the way about what not to say and what is not appropriate to say, etc. So let me assure you, by reading this, you in no way see everything in my life, just what I allow you to see. It's also still a work in progress.
That sorta go boring. New question. When I was freaking out about ending school and not having a job I went to see a speaker on moving beyond the White Tower of Academia. She said that to see what I'm interested in as a job, etc. Find people that inspire me and write them a note. I never wrote a note, but the people who inspire me are all bloggers.
1. Dooce She taught me that you can get fired for your blog. That blogs aren't as good if you sound forced in your writing, and that corporate sponsorship maybe good for her family income, but is actually annoying for the readers...or at least me. I no longer read her, but I appreciate the time I did. Oh, I read her posts during her whole pregnancy, and she is the first woman to ever be completely honest in my awareness about what actually happens during pregnancy and giving birth. I mean come on...of all the mom's out in the world, no one can ever talk about or even mention the MUCUS PLUG. Or NESTING!?! That shits important.
2. The Yarn Harlot This is written by a knitter, author, mother, friend, and wife. She reminds me of my mom sometimes, but she is younger than my mom, which is odd...it's my mom 10 years ago. And she's done so much in her life already and she's not afraid to admit the laundry and dishes are never done and that the house is a mess. Once she posted a post where she went off on this crazy rant (and when I say once, I really mean, she only did this sort of thing that one time) and it sounded exactly like I would say when I am overwhelmed and nothing went right and I was close to an anxiety attack. She had to go get beer. See, she also appreciates a good beer now and then. Her writing is natural sounding, informative, changes with her life and she has no ads on her blog. She also doesn't gossip or talk too much about personal stuff, so I try to imitate that.
3. A Quirky Girls Thoughts This is my newest blog I read. It's written by a girl in England, I think, and she is younger than me. Still in college I believe. Her blog is different because it's not written as a story and sometimes there are more pictures than words. A lot of times she lists things to be thankful for, or things for her readers to be happy about. Or she lists her interests at the moment. Sometimes she talks about anxiety and how to deal with that. It's not what I would have expected to choose as blog to read, but she always makes me happy or gives me a new perspective to think about. It's very girly and about having fun with life...not about making your way through life. Sometimes I think I need a reminder not to take life so seriously, and her blog helps with that.
As to my motivations? Well, sometimes I have soooo many words in me and not enough people to talk to. If I write it down in blog format, I can say as much as I want and the reader can choose to listen or not listen and I don't have to worry about wasting their time. My blog is definitely for me...but I like to have someone to listen. Plus I love the mystery of not knowing who's reading it.
I highly doubt you have been wondering that because it is my personal belief that all people think 90 to 99% about themselves most of the time and 10-1% about others the rest of the time. And not in a selfish way, but in a natural human way. Thought like "How does this affect me?" "What does this imply about me?" etc. I bet it's people like Mother Theresa who think about themselves less and other more. And I ain't no Mother Theresa.
Since that's been settled, I am going to go ahead and answer the questions I'm pretending you're thinking about.
I started blogging my sophomore year of college on LiveJournal. It was one of the first blogging forums I knew about and you had to get an invitation from someone to join and you got one invitation to give out. I really wanted to readers, so I told a boy that I don't know if I liked or not because he was not my boyfriend at the time, but at one point in my past we tried to date, but it didn't work out. Anyways, I told him to read my blog and he said he didn't want to if I wasn't going to write in it everyday. Challenge accepted. I posted almost everyday for an entire year. I'm pretty darn sure he never read it once. But that's okay. I got in the habit of writing and thinking about things to write about. Then when I went to Grad School I joined MySpace (don't worry if you don't know what that is...it no longer matters.) and I wrote there. Turns out though I can only get readers there if they also belong to MySpace, then MySpace died. Finally I made a big decision (and it was hard, this is actually my SECOND blogger blog) to go "public"...like super public. With that decision I had to apply all of the lessons I've learned along the way about what not to say and what is not appropriate to say, etc. So let me assure you, by reading this, you in no way see everything in my life, just what I allow you to see. It's also still a work in progress.
That sorta go boring. New question. When I was freaking out about ending school and not having a job I went to see a speaker on moving beyond the White Tower of Academia. She said that to see what I'm interested in as a job, etc. Find people that inspire me and write them a note. I never wrote a note, but the people who inspire me are all bloggers.
1. Dooce She taught me that you can get fired for your blog. That blogs aren't as good if you sound forced in your writing, and that corporate sponsorship maybe good for her family income, but is actually annoying for the readers...or at least me. I no longer read her, but I appreciate the time I did. Oh, I read her posts during her whole pregnancy, and she is the first woman to ever be completely honest in my awareness about what actually happens during pregnancy and giving birth. I mean come on...of all the mom's out in the world, no one can ever talk about or even mention the MUCUS PLUG. Or NESTING!?! That shits important.
2. The Yarn Harlot This is written by a knitter, author, mother, friend, and wife. She reminds me of my mom sometimes, but she is younger than my mom, which is odd...it's my mom 10 years ago. And she's done so much in her life already and she's not afraid to admit the laundry and dishes are never done and that the house is a mess. Once she posted a post where she went off on this crazy rant (and when I say once, I really mean, she only did this sort of thing that one time) and it sounded exactly like I would say when I am overwhelmed and nothing went right and I was close to an anxiety attack. She had to go get beer. See, she also appreciates a good beer now and then. Her writing is natural sounding, informative, changes with her life and she has no ads on her blog. She also doesn't gossip or talk too much about personal stuff, so I try to imitate that.
3. A Quirky Girls Thoughts This is my newest blog I read. It's written by a girl in England, I think, and she is younger than me. Still in college I believe. Her blog is different because it's not written as a story and sometimes there are more pictures than words. A lot of times she lists things to be thankful for, or things for her readers to be happy about. Or she lists her interests at the moment. Sometimes she talks about anxiety and how to deal with that. It's not what I would have expected to choose as blog to read, but she always makes me happy or gives me a new perspective to think about. It's very girly and about having fun with life...not about making your way through life. Sometimes I think I need a reminder not to take life so seriously, and her blog helps with that.
As to my motivations? Well, sometimes I have soooo many words in me and not enough people to talk to. If I write it down in blog format, I can say as much as I want and the reader can choose to listen or not listen and I don't have to worry about wasting their time. My blog is definitely for me...but I like to have someone to listen. Plus I love the mystery of not knowing who's reading it.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Cookie-gasm
I don't think I've mentioned it on here yet, maybe I did...but I have cut gluten from my diet. I started July 10 as my first gluten free day. Since then, when I don't accidentally eat gluten, I have been a lot more awake and a lot more happy/productive on the whole.
Let me tell you about gluten. It comes from wheat and it's one sneaky ass mo'fo'! It's on or it contaminates many many things. Like my oatmeal breakfasts, my *sniff* high fiber cereal, pizza, pasta, cheap cheese crumbles, beer, boneless wings, anything breaded, cookies, cake, donuts!, BUT NOT CRUNCHY CHEESEY POOFS! My life is not pure torture.
I can find gluten free bread, pasta, and pizza, but it's more expensive and I have to drive farther for it...into Green Hills. Ugh. Or Franklin because Franklin has everything.
The point is today someone brought in a tin of Doubletree Cookies. Ugh...with WALNUTS I forgot. Walnuts are not gluten but they make me feel terrible too. Anyways, Doubletree is a super fancy hotel and I always like it when I can stay there. I looked into the tin and thought "Can hotel cookies be any good? Holiday Inn...no. Doubletree...maybe." I saw it. It looked gooey and just cooked. A good sign that it's delicious. I closed the tin. Then I opened it again. Then I closed it. I read the ingredients. There were just the basic ingredients...no preservatives or stuff I couldn't pronounce, including flour. I opened the tin. I took out the cookie and I smelled it. I sniffed it again. I put it back. I took it out.
I ate it.
It was so damn good I almost orgasmed. Best. Decision. Ever.
Let me tell you about gluten. It comes from wheat and it's one sneaky ass mo'fo'! It's on or it contaminates many many things. Like my oatmeal breakfasts, my *sniff* high fiber cereal, pizza, pasta, cheap cheese crumbles, beer, boneless wings, anything breaded, cookies, cake, donuts!, BUT NOT CRUNCHY CHEESEY POOFS! My life is not pure torture.
I can find gluten free bread, pasta, and pizza, but it's more expensive and I have to drive farther for it...into Green Hills. Ugh. Or Franklin because Franklin has everything.
The point is today someone brought in a tin of Doubletree Cookies. Ugh...with WALNUTS I forgot. Walnuts are not gluten but they make me feel terrible too. Anyways, Doubletree is a super fancy hotel and I always like it when I can stay there. I looked into the tin and thought "Can hotel cookies be any good? Holiday Inn...no. Doubletree...maybe." I saw it. It looked gooey and just cooked. A good sign that it's delicious. I closed the tin. Then I opened it again. Then I closed it. I read the ingredients. There were just the basic ingredients...no preservatives or stuff I couldn't pronounce, including flour. I opened the tin. I took out the cookie and I smelled it. I sniffed it again. I put it back. I took it out.
I ate it.
It was so damn good I almost orgasmed. Best. Decision. Ever.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Chemical Therapy
Tonight I go camping. Whoo hoo! We've done nothing to prepare, but luckly we keep most of the important stuff in one grey tub. Just grab that and go!
This week has been bad for my anxiety....I've been on extreme edge all week. Wednesday was the worst. I got home and curled up in the bed and started shaking all over because I was so tense. It was like I was preparing to explode. Josh sat with me and tried to help, and did very well, but when you are trapped in your own mind, you are the only person who can get you out. I took an adavan, a pill that relaxes you just for a little while. It helped amazingly! For a few short hours it was like I was a normal person. I even got some housework done! Drinking with an Adavan isn't recommended, so I didn't drink. This is good b/c I used to turn to beer to help me when I felt that much anxiety. Beer affects the same part of the brain as anti-anxiety medication, so it makes sense. But it never helped in the long run and I just felt like crap. So being able to turn to the adavan helped me make a good smart decision to not drink.
Plus I'd have to spend 8$ on Woodchuck Cider because beer has gluten in it and I don't eat gluten anymore, currently.
The most unique thing I've seen recently happened yesterday morning. Josh and I were enjoying our coffee outside on our porch and a guy backed out of his parking spot into a car driving by. No one was angry and I don't think the cars even got hurt. But it made a good crunching noise.
Here is a good list of my long term interests:
1. Crunching noises
2. Cats/kittens
3. Ants going about their day
4. Earrings
5. Painting
And I just got distracted because I realized I can paint tonight while camping!
This week has been bad for my anxiety....I've been on extreme edge all week. Wednesday was the worst. I got home and curled up in the bed and started shaking all over because I was so tense. It was like I was preparing to explode. Josh sat with me and tried to help, and did very well, but when you are trapped in your own mind, you are the only person who can get you out. I took an adavan, a pill that relaxes you just for a little while. It helped amazingly! For a few short hours it was like I was a normal person. I even got some housework done! Drinking with an Adavan isn't recommended, so I didn't drink. This is good b/c I used to turn to beer to help me when I felt that much anxiety. Beer affects the same part of the brain as anti-anxiety medication, so it makes sense. But it never helped in the long run and I just felt like crap. So being able to turn to the adavan helped me make a good smart decision to not drink.
Plus I'd have to spend 8$ on Woodchuck Cider because beer has gluten in it and I don't eat gluten anymore, currently.
The most unique thing I've seen recently happened yesterday morning. Josh and I were enjoying our coffee outside on our porch and a guy backed out of his parking spot into a car driving by. No one was angry and I don't think the cars even got hurt. But it made a good crunching noise.
Here is a good list of my long term interests:
1. Crunching noises
2. Cats/kittens
3. Ants going about their day
4. Earrings
5. Painting
And I just got distracted because I realized I can paint tonight while camping!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Bossing Around Old People
I was going to write an awesome post, but the pictures I took for it did not turn out awesome and I'm going to have to re-do them.
Sometimes I don't understand. I'm not allowed to even mention that my coworkers are in any way related to the word "old". Not even in a factual way like "They are older than me." Or "You have more life experience than me." But they are allowed to say I'm just a baby and insist that I am 25 yrs old, even though I'm not.
Everyone gets old or they die before they get old. Therefore you should be happy you are old because that means you are not dead.
People who gripe and groan about being old or are embarrassed about their age probably should relook at their lives. At what they've accomplished and what still more there is to accomplish for them. Every season of life has it's set of accomplishments. I can't wait to get old so that I can go on old person vacations, like tours where you ride a bus or visit historical sites. (Who am I kidding, I love visiting historical sites now!) Now and for the next few years, while I'm "young" I want to go on adventure vacations out of the country and hiking and so on. When I was in college I partied. Now that I'm married I work on making a good household. When I am old I shall decorate my house with cheesy holiday decorations. I can't wait!
You are what you are and that's the way it is. I'm forced to accept it, you should too.
Sometimes I don't understand. I'm not allowed to even mention that my coworkers are in any way related to the word "old". Not even in a factual way like "They are older than me." Or "You have more life experience than me." But they are allowed to say I'm just a baby and insist that I am 25 yrs old, even though I'm not.
Everyone gets old or they die before they get old. Therefore you should be happy you are old because that means you are not dead.
People who gripe and groan about being old or are embarrassed about their age probably should relook at their lives. At what they've accomplished and what still more there is to accomplish for them. Every season of life has it's set of accomplishments. I can't wait to get old so that I can go on old person vacations, like tours where you ride a bus or visit historical sites. (Who am I kidding, I love visiting historical sites now!) Now and for the next few years, while I'm "young" I want to go on adventure vacations out of the country and hiking and so on. When I was in college I partied. Now that I'm married I work on making a good household. When I am old I shall decorate my house with cheesy holiday decorations. I can't wait!
You are what you are and that's the way it is. I'm forced to accept it, you should too.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Ephemeral Interests?
I have a question. One of my favorite things my college roommates did was always have an interest in something, or had a thing they were really into. Sometimes it was pistachios, sometimes it was a certain tv show, or a theme. Another girl who writes a blog, as a segment, 10 Things I'm Really Into Right Now.
My question is, isn't it tiresome having interests that keep on changing? Then your life/house is filled with items that are no longer current.
I think that when I have an interest, I feel the need to become an expert at it because if I don't know everything about the interest, then I'm bad at it. I don't think this is healthy, mini obsessions like that, and it makes me tired. I want to have interests that when I see them or recognize them it makes me happy, not tired or worried because I don't know everything.
Here is My List of Ephemeral Interests
1. Holiday decorations
2. Shoes
3. Makeup
Nope. All of my interests are to better my life and hopefully become habits or I hope to continue doing for a long time. Not one month.
Here Is a List of Life Bettering Interests
1. Office organization
2. Storage space and maximization
3. Planner customization
4. Budgeting
5. Money managing
6. Meditation
7. Knitting
8. Canning/freezing food for later consumption
9. Structuring my homelife with a schedule
10. Shoes
What boring interests, no wonder I wish I had some whimsical interests. Shoot me for using the word whimsical. Here is another list:
Made Up Interests That I Wish I Was Interested In But Am Too Busy To Do Anything About It
1. Music and matching it to my mood/activity
2. Belts, scarfs, and accessories
3. Tea Parties
4. Themed Parties for Little Known Holidays
5. Practicing Survival skills in the wilderness
6. Campfire cooking
That was REALLY hard to come up with that list. Can you do any better?
My question is, isn't it tiresome having interests that keep on changing? Then your life/house is filled with items that are no longer current.
I think that when I have an interest, I feel the need to become an expert at it because if I don't know everything about the interest, then I'm bad at it. I don't think this is healthy, mini obsessions like that, and it makes me tired. I want to have interests that when I see them or recognize them it makes me happy, not tired or worried because I don't know everything.
Here is My List of Ephemeral Interests
1. Holiday decorations
2. Shoes
3. Makeup
Nope. All of my interests are to better my life and hopefully become habits or I hope to continue doing for a long time. Not one month.
Here Is a List of Life Bettering Interests
1. Office organization
2. Storage space and maximization
3. Planner customization
4. Budgeting
5. Money managing
6. Meditation
7. Knitting
8. Canning/freezing food for later consumption
9. Structuring my homelife with a schedule
10. Shoes
What boring interests, no wonder I wish I had some whimsical interests. Shoot me for using the word whimsical. Here is another list:
Made Up Interests That I Wish I Was Interested In But Am Too Busy To Do Anything About It
1. Music and matching it to my mood/activity
2. Belts, scarfs, and accessories
3. Tea Parties
4. Themed Parties for Little Known Holidays
5. Practicing Survival skills in the wilderness
6. Campfire cooking
That was REALLY hard to come up with that list. Can you do any better?
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