It's beautiful out here. Yesterday it was a high of 64 degrees. When I first stepped outside, I was a little saddened because (you should sit down for this)...I wasn't ready for winter to be over. I know...I must have been captured by aliens. But with summer comes some worries and stresses that winter does not have. Winter is for hibernation and being lazy, and I'm not done hibernating before summer comes. Oh, and the springs here are too short...not long enough to fully soak in and enjoy spring...you blink, go on a work trip, and BAM it's 95 degress out for the next 5 months. Which I think, but have not decided, may be worse than Nashville's winters. When it snows here, I get the day off work and can stay inside. When it gets above 100 degrees and I don't have AC in my truck, I have to drive to work in my skimpiest outfit and then change when I get there so I don't show up all stinky and sweaty.
Here's what's stressing me about summer:
1. clothes. For some reason I never ever buy new summer clothes and tank tops. I didn't last year...not one thing. I always feel poorer in the summer than in the winter. And it's hard, now I have to work on purchasing work clothes that can handle constant AC inside. No fun slinky summer dresses, no tiny tank tops, all my clothes budget goes towards boring work clothes and cardigans.
Goal: This spring/summer I will purchase 3 "going out at night" tops. I will purchase one slinky dress and 2-3 fancy skirts. All appropriate for Nashvegas or the Hipster scene. If I get hipster clothes, in theory, I can get them from the goodwill. Oh and these tank tops will be meant to NOT be worn under anything. If they can't double as something else, then I must get them.
2. Summer makes me feel like I must always be accomplishing something. It's always sunny and warm. And growing up that means go outside and do something while it lasts. Well here, all it does is last. And whenever I give myself a day off I sit inside and feel guilty. I feel guilty right now...I'm writing instead of cleaning.
3. The heat really does make it impossible to do stuff. Last summer we'd get home from work and I wouldn't want to go to the pool b/c that meant either walking in the heat or getting in my truck AGAIN and driving there. I know it's sounds like I'm weak, but the heat really was that bad! This year though, I'm going to tough it up and go more. It'll help b/c we are going in the cold now to the exercise room to do our running. If we can do that, then I can do it in the heat too.
I just never feel adequet in the summer. My clothes are not as nice as anyone elses, I'm too fat for all of my clothes too...and I don't mean that in a negative way, I mean I've gain 20 lbs since I've bought all of my summer clothes, I never have enough money to do all of the fun stuff, I don't have enough energy/drive to do all the fun free stuff, Josh is always busy with school or working, which limits the stuff I can do. Summer is just a constant reminder of all of my perceived shortcomings in life.
I suppose you could say this has been the best winter of my life. :) I even spent a week in Florida! With old people wearing fanny packs, so I looked great, no matter what!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Friday Fun ... At Least Trying to Have Fun
Here are Some Fun Things I'd Like to Do:
1. Attend two music festivals this summer
2. Get Josh to come with me on a work travel for once
3. Go camping so much it becomes easy
So far these are what I meant when I said fun things. I'm having a hard time at this...
4. Have a real picnic somewhere nice with Josh
5. Go to a park, spend all day there. Paint a picture, grill some food, drink some wine, write in a journal. Spend so long there that I actually get bored...and then stay longer.
6. Decorate a cake and then eat it
7. Go to the Chattanooga Aquarium
8. Go on a tour of Jack Daniels
9. Go to a vineyard and do wine and cheese tasting.
10. Go on the Spelunking Tour of Mammoth Caves
11. Visit the Lost Caves and go on the underground river boat
This list is sort of a fail. None of this really strike a chord in my heart, but I guess it's a start. I've sort of given up on fun I guess....spontaneous pointless fun anyways. Friday's we have game night with friends, Saturdays are our long runs now, and Sundays Josh works. It's that damn work thing. WHEN can I live my life with my husband the way I want. I want to go on weekend trips. When I have a three day weekend I want to LEAVE, but I can't b/c he works every Sunday so we can buy groceries and eat delicious food, and buy the expensive kitty litter that flushes, and the healthy cat food, and real sour cream.
Which brings me to a very good point. Publix has failed me and I'm severely disappointed in them. I don't think I will care any more if I shop there or not. Publix is the "upper middle class" grocery store for slightly crunchy/environmentally aware moms. Kroger is for the ghetto. Well, I bought Publix brand (who always say their brand is just as good on commercials) of sour cream. I looked at the ingredients and it had corn starch and milk whey. I told Josh that it wasn't real sour cream because real sour cream wouldn't need a cheap thickener. When we tasted it, it tasted TERRIBLE. Bleh. It tasted like cheapness in a tub. So, we decided that since we buy so litter sour cream (just when we plan mexican) that we can afford to buy the most expensive kind, Purity. All of Purity's milk products taste amazing, but you pay what for what you get, of course!
To make up for that, I bought Kroger brand pan spray instead of PAM spray. I really like using brand name pan spray b/c it makes me feel like I'm on the commercials when I use it. But I know it's the same stuff in both cans...:/ so I got the cheaper stuff that was even on sale.
1. Attend two music festivals this summer
2. Get Josh to come with me on a work travel for once
3. Go camping so much it becomes easy
So far these are what I meant when I said fun things. I'm having a hard time at this...
4. Have a real picnic somewhere nice with Josh
5. Go to a park, spend all day there. Paint a picture, grill some food, drink some wine, write in a journal. Spend so long there that I actually get bored...and then stay longer.
6. Decorate a cake and then eat it
7. Go to the Chattanooga Aquarium
8. Go on a tour of Jack Daniels
9. Go to a vineyard and do wine and cheese tasting.
10. Go on the Spelunking Tour of Mammoth Caves
11. Visit the Lost Caves and go on the underground river boat
This list is sort of a fail. None of this really strike a chord in my heart, but I guess it's a start. I've sort of given up on fun I guess....spontaneous pointless fun anyways. Friday's we have game night with friends, Saturdays are our long runs now, and Sundays Josh works. It's that damn work thing. WHEN can I live my life with my husband the way I want. I want to go on weekend trips. When I have a three day weekend I want to LEAVE, but I can't b/c he works every Sunday so we can buy groceries and eat delicious food, and buy the expensive kitty litter that flushes, and the healthy cat food, and real sour cream.
Which brings me to a very good point. Publix has failed me and I'm severely disappointed in them. I don't think I will care any more if I shop there or not. Publix is the "upper middle class" grocery store for slightly crunchy/environmentally aware moms. Kroger is for the ghetto. Well, I bought Publix brand (who always say their brand is just as good on commercials) of sour cream. I looked at the ingredients and it had corn starch and milk whey. I told Josh that it wasn't real sour cream because real sour cream wouldn't need a cheap thickener. When we tasted it, it tasted TERRIBLE. Bleh. It tasted like cheapness in a tub. So, we decided that since we buy so litter sour cream (just when we plan mexican) that we can afford to buy the most expensive kind, Purity. All of Purity's milk products taste amazing, but you pay what for what you get, of course!
To make up for that, I bought Kroger brand pan spray instead of PAM spray. I really like using brand name pan spray b/c it makes me feel like I'm on the commercials when I use it. But I know it's the same stuff in both cans...:/ so I got the cheaper stuff that was even on sale.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Running Update
I ran/jogged 1.5 miles today without stopping, and walk/jog/ran another 1.5 miles. That's 3 miles in exactly 40 minutes!
All of me hurts.
Luckly tomorrow is Casual Friday and my off day for running. Saturday we are upping it to 4 miles. By the start of February, Lianne, my personal trainer and sister-in-law, says I need to be comfortable doing 4 miles.
Heh. I think not. I'll be happy with just being able to move that far period. I can run/jog one whole mile with out stopping though in 11-12 minutes. That's not too shabby. But all of me hurts after that too. My personal antagonist and brother says that the pain will go away after 2 weeks. Well, it's been three...and no, it hurts the same. I can just go farther now.
My bad ankle hurts a lot too. I could feel all of the screws in it and they were in pain. It still hurts when I go up and down stairs and the rest of my body doesn't hurt. I just hope it's extra pain because I favor that ankle and now it's exercising, and not in pain because I'm messing it up.
I was feeding Ackbar treats and I put one in the fur on his back and he walked around forever with it on. We laughed at him and made fun of him. He knew it too. He always knows when we are making fun of him.
All of me hurts.
Luckly tomorrow is Casual Friday and my off day for running. Saturday we are upping it to 4 miles. By the start of February, Lianne, my personal trainer and sister-in-law, says I need to be comfortable doing 4 miles.
Heh. I think not. I'll be happy with just being able to move that far period. I can run/jog one whole mile with out stopping though in 11-12 minutes. That's not too shabby. But all of me hurts after that too. My personal antagonist and brother says that the pain will go away after 2 weeks. Well, it's been three...and no, it hurts the same. I can just go farther now.
My bad ankle hurts a lot too. I could feel all of the screws in it and they were in pain. It still hurts when I go up and down stairs and the rest of my body doesn't hurt. I just hope it's extra pain because I favor that ankle and now it's exercising, and not in pain because I'm messing it up.
I was feeding Ackbar treats and I put one in the fur on his back and he walked around forever with it on. We laughed at him and made fun of him. He knew it too. He always knows when we are making fun of him.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
"The world believes what it wants to."
Cleaned my apartment today. It's been a multi-day project. It's not company clean, but it's closer than it's ever been without company. What's spurred this? Well... I've been reading confident women books and living an organized life books, and they all say that a well balanced woman should have her own personal space just for her. Naturally, I wanted one...but our apartment is rather small. After months of looking around for a spare corner for my own chair and a side table and area for me to keep my reading book and set my tea cup in our apartment, I came to the conclusion that there isn't one. Surprise surprise.
Josh has his own space. It's his desk/computer area/den. I try my hardest to not clean it and to not make him clean it, but to let him clean it as he likes. He gets a WHOLE room! Last week I dreamed that we had a second bedroom that we had forgotten about, it was completely empty but for 3 boxes and a piano. I was pissed that we had had it for so long and hadn't made it my room yet. So, our solution? I get the living room area! It's not as enclosed and personal as I would like, but it's pretty big...and it has a large comfy couch in it. And Josh's orange chair. :( I would replace it with a pretty green Victorian chair if I could.
Josh got that chair when we lived in Mount Pleasant. I'm pretty sure I drove past a church on campus that had a bunch of stuff out front and called him and told him to pick up the chair. He says it took him 45 min. to figure out how to fit it into the trunk of the car and get it home, alone. Therefore, it's his chair and we cannot get rid of it. I don't mind...he did do what I asked and it was hard. It's a good reward. Plus Ackbar loves it and they are the same color...Ackbar and the chair.
Anyways, the room is mine now. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it yet. The bonus is that I can secretly a capture the dinning room too. So far the only update I'm going to make so far is to make pillows to go on the couch. I want to put a pear applique onto the pillows and then decorate them artsy like. I've cleared off the kitchen table...so I can set up the sewing machine there, I hope. Last time I tried to use the sewing machine, in Belmont, it was a cramped disaster. I hope it will work out better this time. My Aunts, Mom, and Oma, always wonder why I havn't sewn anything yet, but it's because I was writing a thesis and lived in the world's smallest apartment with the most stuff. I will sew, but as my mom tells me, when it's the correct time. I also knit, journal, paint, and draw...for art. I play video games, get sucked into tv, and drink a lot. That takes time too. As well as keep my husband happy (playing board games sillies!). My life is busy busy busy. And I think I've finally reached a balance in my life.
Speaking of finally getting things in order....today I have paid off everything except the credit card bill (which could be worse than it is) and put a $1000 payment on that. Josh's school loan check came in just in time. I haven't felt so caught up and on top of things in a while. Oh and our school loans aren't paid off...of course. That's going to take 15 yrs or less. If it takes more, then they automatically dismiss them..so I'm told by them. But I don't trust the government that much. They love my money!
Josh and I played racquet ball, and since we've been running so much, it was the best game ever! I lost twice of course, but it was almost close. I, at least, didn't get too tired out to play, I'm just bad. It was amazing how much I didn't get exhausted because I have better endurance than I've ever had before. Did I mention that we are training for the Nashville Marathon? We are only running the 1/2 marathon, 13 miles. I'm terrified and so excited. I know I can do it because I made it through field camp, and if I could do that, then I know I can physically do anything I know I can do. Does that makes sense? I can't win a boxing match and I can't be a model, and I can't fight things, but I can move distances. I'm pretty sure I've walked 13 miles in one day before, possibly with a pack of rocks on my back, so I can do this, jogging a little.
Josh has his own space. It's his desk/computer area/den. I try my hardest to not clean it and to not make him clean it, but to let him clean it as he likes. He gets a WHOLE room! Last week I dreamed that we had a second bedroom that we had forgotten about, it was completely empty but for 3 boxes and a piano. I was pissed that we had had it for so long and hadn't made it my room yet. So, our solution? I get the living room area! It's not as enclosed and personal as I would like, but it's pretty big...and it has a large comfy couch in it. And Josh's orange chair. :( I would replace it with a pretty green Victorian chair if I could.
Josh got that chair when we lived in Mount Pleasant. I'm pretty sure I drove past a church on campus that had a bunch of stuff out front and called him and told him to pick up the chair. He says it took him 45 min. to figure out how to fit it into the trunk of the car and get it home, alone. Therefore, it's his chair and we cannot get rid of it. I don't mind...he did do what I asked and it was hard. It's a good reward. Plus Ackbar loves it and they are the same color...Ackbar and the chair.
Anyways, the room is mine now. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it yet. The bonus is that I can secretly a capture the dinning room too. So far the only update I'm going to make so far is to make pillows to go on the couch. I want to put a pear applique onto the pillows and then decorate them artsy like. I've cleared off the kitchen table...so I can set up the sewing machine there, I hope. Last time I tried to use the sewing machine, in Belmont, it was a cramped disaster. I hope it will work out better this time. My Aunts, Mom, and Oma, always wonder why I havn't sewn anything yet, but it's because I was writing a thesis and lived in the world's smallest apartment with the most stuff. I will sew, but as my mom tells me, when it's the correct time. I also knit, journal, paint, and draw...for art. I play video games, get sucked into tv, and drink a lot. That takes time too. As well as keep my husband happy (playing board games sillies!). My life is busy busy busy. And I think I've finally reached a balance in my life.
Speaking of finally getting things in order....today I have paid off everything except the credit card bill (which could be worse than it is) and put a $1000 payment on that. Josh's school loan check came in just in time. I haven't felt so caught up and on top of things in a while. Oh and our school loans aren't paid off...of course. That's going to take 15 yrs or less. If it takes more, then they automatically dismiss them..so I'm told by them. But I don't trust the government that much. They love my money!
Josh and I played racquet ball, and since we've been running so much, it was the best game ever! I lost twice of course, but it was almost close. I, at least, didn't get too tired out to play, I'm just bad. It was amazing how much I didn't get exhausted because I have better endurance than I've ever had before. Did I mention that we are training for the Nashville Marathon? We are only running the 1/2 marathon, 13 miles. I'm terrified and so excited. I know I can do it because I made it through field camp, and if I could do that, then I know I can physically do anything I know I can do. Does that makes sense? I can't win a boxing match and I can't be a model, and I can't fight things, but I can move distances. I'm pretty sure I've walked 13 miles in one day before, possibly with a pack of rocks on my back, so I can do this, jogging a little.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Feces in the Eye
Yesterday was a terrible day. I woke up with a wine hang over and Ackbar stepping on my eye on his way up to the dresser to be naughty. I had to lay there and hold the water cup still so he wouldn't spill it on my phone. He attacked the straw in it, pulled it out, through it on the ground, and killed it.
Then I got ready to run 2 miles with Josh...and just before we left, we played with Ackbar. We gave him a catnip infused trilobite knitted for him by a friend, and he was super frisky. His pupils were sooo large, I leaned into his fort to get a close look, and he reached out and pawed me in my eye!!!! His claws weren't out, but it hurt so bad. I instantly collapsed on the floor and Josh tried to help me. Ackbar continued to attack my legs and feet. I'm pretty sure he wanted to eat me. We also now know that he would win in a fight. It took about an hour before I could open my eye mostly normally, and it watered all day.
We still ran our two miles, I was upping my distance from 1.5 miles and was excited to see if I could do it. I couldn't....I had to stop 1.5 miles in to go to the bathroom and that was that for me. Goal not accomplished and my eye still hurt.
Then later, in front of Josh, I remembered that I had opened a Kohl's credit card without telling him and then forgot about it. We were both disappointed in me.
For dinner we had no onions, so therefore we had nothing we could cook because all of our delicious meals require onions. After 30 mins. of thinking about it and eye pain, we decided on homemade pizza. This turned out good, it was the best sauce and crust I've ever made. I don't even know how the crust turned out so good, it's the same recipe as I normally use. I added a can of italian tomatoes to a can of tomato paste for the sauce, and that's what improved the sauce.
Afterward I drank 2.5 beers and fell asleep on the couch by 10.
Then I got ready to run 2 miles with Josh...and just before we left, we played with Ackbar. We gave him a catnip infused trilobite knitted for him by a friend, and he was super frisky. His pupils were sooo large, I leaned into his fort to get a close look, and he reached out and pawed me in my eye!!!! His claws weren't out, but it hurt so bad. I instantly collapsed on the floor and Josh tried to help me. Ackbar continued to attack my legs and feet. I'm pretty sure he wanted to eat me. We also now know that he would win in a fight. It took about an hour before I could open my eye mostly normally, and it watered all day.
We still ran our two miles, I was upping my distance from 1.5 miles and was excited to see if I could do it. I couldn't....I had to stop 1.5 miles in to go to the bathroom and that was that for me. Goal not accomplished and my eye still hurt.
Then later, in front of Josh, I remembered that I had opened a Kohl's credit card without telling him and then forgot about it. We were both disappointed in me.
For dinner we had no onions, so therefore we had nothing we could cook because all of our delicious meals require onions. After 30 mins. of thinking about it and eye pain, we decided on homemade pizza. This turned out good, it was the best sauce and crust I've ever made. I don't even know how the crust turned out so good, it's the same recipe as I normally use. I added a can of italian tomatoes to a can of tomato paste for the sauce, and that's what improved the sauce.
Afterward I drank 2.5 beers and fell asleep on the couch by 10.
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