Friday, February 6, 2015

Assertive Responses to God and Rocks

What a week!  It was a very high anxiety week for me.  I met, or really, re-met a lot of people from my past.  Specifically teachers and the mother of my first real boyfriend.  Awkward.  But...funny enough, not the most awkward thing that happened.

I was at a Stay At Home Mom church community group meeting that I belong to and the speaker was a high school teacher of mine.  And not just any one, but one whose husband, also a high school teacher, I spent a lot of time discussing, teasing, and thinking about with my friends.  Sort of a set of inside jokes with my friends...since high school.  I want to tell the story, but I don't want to I'm going to change names.  Mrs. Smith and Mr. Smith.  She's talked to us about marriage and love and God.  She was so passionate about what she was talking about, that I am giving her the benefit of the doubt and am truly trying to think about her message.  It was hard because it was about submitting to your husband, the same way you submit to God.  And she defined Submission in a way I have not thought about before.  You are suppose to submit to God but he still gives you free will.  And in the same way you place your faith in God, you are to place your faith in your husband.  I think I like the message if the husband also has the same message, that he must submit to the wife and have faith in her like God.  Only, that half of the message was not discussed.  I think because I cannot change my husband, I can only change myself.  And I agree with that totally.  But...the way the message comes across, there is no way out for the woman if the husband does not respect her and beats her or cheats on her or something.  The message did not mention respecting yourself and where that falls into the God/Husband/Wife triangle.  I took away that you submit to God first, and your husband does too, then you submit to your husband, and doing all that and praying a lot brings all three of you closer together.  BUT where does respecting yourself fall in?  I think God would want me to respect him first, then me, then my husband.  And by respecting myself, I act with respect towards my husband.

Anyways, that was her point, and she was very good at discussing it and was enjoying the topic with a passion.  In the same way I enjoy discussing rocks with a passion.

Then she got to the part about sex with your husband.  And she says: "My husband, he likes sex.  So what do I get him for his birthday? After a while, he can just buy what he needs, so I got him sex.  I rented a hotel room for the weekend and bought a sexy outfit.  I wrapped it up and sent it to him at his work (high school) and prayed that he didn't open it in class. He loved it!  It's all he's been wanting for his birthday since."

MY EARS CANNOT UNHEAR THAT!  It was the same feeling you get if you were to imagine your mom saying that.  Bleh.

There's more to the story and backstory, but it's just gossip and not for the public thoughts.

I joined a book group of more experienced in life women about peace and nonviolence.  I didn't know it, but they define violence differently.  Violence is not just a physical act.  It's rudeness, discrimination, words and feelings that make you feel bad about yourself.  That is all violence.  And the book and discussion studies how to deal with violence in your life and how to be a non violent person both personaly and in the view of helping the community.  Basically, it's about behaving assertively and sticking up for your rights.  I'm very excited to learn about this with a group of experienced women.  Assertiveness is what I have been trying to learn since I became pregnant and it's what is most important to me that I teach Lilly and any future siblings.

That's where I met a lot of people I used to know?  It was sort of like, Lindy This Is Your from Seseme Street.  Only it's the life I moved away from and tried very hard to leave behind.  Of course, I moved to Nashvegas, and found a very violent (in the new definition of the term) life that I hated.  So, I guess I traded my horrible violent life for my old awkward one.  I'd much rather have awkward than mean and horrible.  Plus, I'm not the same person as I was.  I am more in control of my life now and my responses to it (due to my assertiveness focus).

Disclaimer:  My Nashvegas friends made life good and bearable while I was there.  They taught me a lot about life, differences, and expanded my view in a good way on people and Christians.

There are different types of Christians out there....they are not all like the stereotypical ones in Freakmont.  My work expanded my view on the government, companies, and professional life in such a cynical way, I don't know if I can ever work for a company or coorporation again.  I would prefer to be my own boss, so I can enforce my own workplace rules.  My view on how the government is cynical, but I do trust that when it comes down to the knitty gritty of government, they are doing the most mediocre job that they can, and that's better than purposely trying to screw us over.

The best gift was given to my family this week too!!!!  I was outside after the snow storm weekend trying to shovel the driveway during Lilly's nap.  I only had the strength to shovel the most important parts, the tall pile that the snow plow leaves behind at the entrance to the drive.  It was so tiring!  I spent the whole time wishing i was in a college town full of 20 yr olds with nothing better to do than be good samaritans and doing random acts of kindness.  Then I could get one to shovel or plow my drive for free.  Then when Josh got home, he said that some one had snow blown the whole thing!!!!  It's amazing!  They even did the walk up to the door and the path from the drive to the door!!!  I think it was the neighbors b/c their driveway is cleared too.  Isn't that just the nicest thing?

Now onto my geology thoughts.  Josh says on his PS4 there is a game or item he can buy that uses Liquid Hot Lava.  That, people, is redundant.  The word lava implies that the rock is liquid hot.  If it wasn't it would be a rock, not magma.  If you wanted to get very technical, you could call it a Magmatic Mush.  One of my favorite and most memorable times of grad school is when my research group and Calvin (The advisor) spent an hour defining magmatic mush and what it we are really saying when we use that term.  Is it 50% crystals and 50% liquid?  At what  percentage of crystals in the liquid does the magma go from a liquid to a mush to a solid?

Key Terms:  Lava = liquid rock at the surface of the Earth (erupted).  Magma = liquid rock below the surface (not erupted).

Oh, and in my mind, a magmatic mush sounds like crunchy snow.  But when I asked about it, I was told it was more like oatmeal and probably wouldn't make a sound.  I choose to ignore this and keep on imagining it making the best crunching noise you can imagine.  Like, stepping on dried leaves or a nutty bar.

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