I want to talk about things that make me happy. This week I didn't get enough sleep one night and it was a pretty anxious week for me. I'm forever yelling at myself for not being perfect...and then yelling at my yelling self to give myself a break. And of course I refuse to listen to anyone, even myself, telling me what to do, so I do the opposite and sit in sad misery feeling bad for myself or I watch Starcraft videos with Josh. But there are happy things:
1. My work computer desktop uses Microsoft 7 and I have a desk widget on it that tells me the time in different time zones. With my new position I was able to add Mountain Time to it. I now work with people in each of the US time zones (except Alaska and Hawaii)...which means I know people across the country. I have to take each of them into account when I set up meetings, make phone calls, expect response emails. This makes me happy.
2. I grew a fruit fly, caught it, killed it, fed it to my venus fly trap. NOTHING HAPPENED. It didn't even close. I'm not sure what that's about...but I'm happy I got to try. I will try again.
3. I paid my bills. I was only late on my Comcast one...not the important ones like the credit card. That makes me very happy. I thought it was be hard and hurt me to pay the bills, so I had put it off. It wasn't hard at all and it didn't hurt.
4. Learning new things makes me happy. My mom sent me a book she read once. It's about healing and cells and stuff. My childhood, life, view, some beliefs, everything I learned from my mom all makes sense now! I now understand the thought process and reasoning in a whole new way behind telling your cells in your body you are not sick, and then you won't be. (We didn't go to the doctor because we didn't believe in sickness....and to tell the truth, I never got sick.) Reading that book makes me happy. It's like a hug from my mom when ever I open it up. It also forces me to open my mind REAL wide because it doesn't follow the path of logic and science I've been studying for the past 10 yrs.
Disclaimer: We believed in sickness. We weren't some crazy back woods family or anything like that.
5. I'm happy Josh's mom and brother are visiting. Having people in our house disrupting my fragile balance and routine is causing me to stress in anticipation...but I want to try and experiment. I want to not be stressed about it...so I'm going to think about all the strange, fun, and different things that could happen that will be exciting. Plus they are family, not strangers, so it's easier to let them in for long times. I'm not sure where they're going to sleep though.... I'm letting Josh worry about that one.
6. I'm happy I have a kitty like Ackbar. This morning I tried to pick him up but he was in the kitchen, so I had to get past Josh who was looking in the pantry, and I jostled him. Then Ackbar ran away from me and went through Josh's legs, in his way. I chased Ackbar out and bumped into Josh really good. Then the tapioca fell and spilled a lot. I picked up Ackbar and gave him a big hug. Josh blamed both of us for the tapioca, and I held Ackbar and we watched Josh clean it up. Ackbar likes to be held so long as he can still watch what's going on. I think he's a scaredy cat and is braver when he's held.