I was thinking today. I have a bittersweet relationship with myself. In music, literature, and movies I always like the dark stories with an antihero. Someone who breaks the law to do good. For example, my favorite graphic novel is The Hitman because he only kills the bad guys. He does kill...violently, but only the evil people. Does that make him bad or good? I don't know, but I like it.
I like to pretend I'm tough and could be like that. But I'm not. If I had to describe myself it would be cute, cuddly, giggly, nice, giving, and can never say no. And I hate it! But I could be no other way otherwise I would be constantly racked with guilt. I cannot manipulate in any way and I always try to make everyone happy.
On the way home today I figured out why I hate this about me. It's because no one who is nice and cute and cuddly can survive the apocalypse. I like to think that I could survive it, but I couldn't. I would instantly trust the wrong person and they would make me their sex slave or zombie bate or something.
If I had to choose the apocalypse, it would be a Dragon Apocalypse like Reign of Fire. I wouldn't mind death by dragon.
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