Tuesday, November 30, 2010


How I know Florida is full of old people:

1.  At the Nashville airport I chose the wrong line on accident to be felt up or viewed naked, and was behind only elderly people.  I kid you not b/c I was enviously watching everyone in the otherlines speed on, it took me twice as long as it should have to get through that line.

2.  The funny smell on the plane.

3.  How long I had to wait to get my luggage.  Old people like to wait and are sloooow, so the airport doesn't have to hurry at all to get the luggage unloaded.

4.  People merge in traffic when there is clearly not enough room for a car between the two cars it's merging into.  (Though recent events have shown that I am not allowed to talk about bad merging.  I NEVER miss my exit).

5.  FANNY PACKS!  Two out of every three people on the beach boardwalk are sport'n them.

6.  The hotel food is bland.  Old people like bland food I'm sure of it.

7.  Not old but relevant to Florida, as I was walking into the hotel, there was a couple unloading their car out front saying that they were from Michigan. 

8.  Wrinkles.  Lots of them.

9.  No rock or alternative radio stations to be found.

10.  Finally....the Marriott On The Beach does not offer wireless internet.  I must plug my computer in.  This is so that I am forced to use slllloooowwwww internet.  Old people can't handle the speed and mind blowing technology of wi-fi and so the hotel caters to them by only providing plug in internet.

Calvin is exempt from all old people stereotypes.  He prefers efficiency and speed...especially when it comes to making lunches in the field.  He he he, that was the only time we ever fought.  And Calvin doesn't wear a fanny pack....  I suspect he merges poorly, but so do I.

Want to hear my merging story?  After leaving Memphis I worked on my paper for Calvin some more (I'm gonna be published!  Sphene is on it's way to making me famous!) and then took over driving the last 2 hrs.  As I was entering the freeway, I noticed Josh's lights were on in his car and thought the brights were on too (it was daylight), so I tried to turn it off.  At the same time as I was merging and I wasn't paying attention and Josh yelled "Aaagghhh" and I looked up and I was merged before we even got to the dashed lines.  Luckly no one was coming.  Josh swore we got air when I "merged".  My first reaction was to press in the clutch, which wasn't there.

I drove the rest of the way home safely.  Which was easy because I am a safe driver.

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