Friday, September 7, 2012

U-Turns Are A Sign Of Good Luck In My Book

Okay.  I noticed today that there are at least 6 different grasses growing outside my work and along the roadway and they are all "blooming" (whatever it is called when grass lets go of their pollen) all at the same time!  It's no wonder I have a head cold and mucus and stuffed sinuses.

Here is a related story of my drive home last night:
"La te da...this is a long te da.  Maybe if I go 80 mph I'll get home faster.  Shit!  That guy is speeding up and not letting me pass and I'm at top truck speed!  Phew, going downhill, perfect for coasting and gaining more speed.  Shit!  That part of the expressway used 1/4 tank of gas...better go slower....65 it is.  What way should I take to get over to the other expressway?  Past my work?  No, too long, too many stop signs...but I can basically drive it with my eyes closed. Well, except that one part with all the kids...I gotta stop swerving onto the side walk there.  Should I go up all the way to where they expressways meet?  No because then it'll be like I drove into Nashville to drive out again and I can't picture it in my mind.  Let's take Briley.  Briley north or south?  I can never remember...I want the exit that goes west.  So stupid.  Gotta go west on the north road.  I hate Briley Parkway.

*take exit*

Whoop, hope there's no cops around, I'm going to go 55.  Stupid town, no one knows how to drive properly around here...always 5 miles below the speed limit.  Oh hey, was that the entrance to 24?  It couldn't have been, I didn't see the big green sign and the circle that tricks me.  Good, it wasn't the entrance.  There it is.  Why are there all those cops and lights flashing there?  Better not hit the cones, gotta get in the left lane.  Left lane here I come!  Oooh...two left lanes I guess.  Barely missed that one cone.  Are they blocking the entrance ramp?  Can I sneak around them?  I'll slow down.  Doo dee doo...cops are you constructioning before or on the entrance ramp?


Is that light red or green? I don't know!  The pain.  Must. Itch. Eyes. Now. 

Oh my God that was horrible.  Damn, I missed the entrance ramp.  How the hell do I get to Antioch now?  I'm NOT taking Nolensville.  Agghhh, tears and mascara everywhere. I still can't see.  Oh hey, there's the entrance ramp from the other directions!  I'll take that.

*Makes Illigal U Turn At Light*

I wonder what Kimmy would say about that U-Turn, she hates them."

And that is a non-edited story of my drive home last night.  (The pain is from the allergies hitting my eyes. )

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