Following, you are small. Smaller than in the past, but still my Following, willing to do what I say and be under my influence. Hhhmm...I used to be better at talking about how through you I would rule the world. Growing up ruined my sarcasm I think...and my desire to rule the world.
Sometimes I despise Trump for being so exhausting. Alternative facts, my ass.
I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Yesterday I thought I did good on my list of To-Do's I made. Turns out, just so so. I did not complete the laundry tasks. All I was able to do was get Damian's clothes put away. I still have Lilly's and ours. I did not do any budget management either. I still feel good about what I did though because I worked nonstop! It takes hours to get me and Lilly dressed, constantly feed all of us. Seriously. By the time I finish our morning snack time (which is large because we do a tiny early breakfast), it's lunchtime. Then, once that is done and cleaned up, it's time to start dinner. Dinner tonight will be easier because we are eating sorta left overs from yesterday.
For dinner I made huevos con chorizo with a black bean sauce. Huevos con chorizo is Spanish for Eggs with chorizo. Chorizo is spicy Mexican sausage, and it's delicious! The brand Bill's sells (SURPRISE! They actually sell it), is El Popular. Josh and I laughed over that. It's literally called The Popular Chorizo. This is good for me though because once in Nashville I bought chorizo from a world grocery store (complete with giant totes of live fish) and it was gross. It was slimy and made of pig cheeks and lips. Too authentic for me. Give me the El Popular brand any day.
This dinner was delicious and the black bean sauce was easy: Blend 2 cans of black beans with 2 Tbspn of pickled jalepeno juice and 2 Tbspn of the sauce in a chipotle in Adobo can, and one cup chicken broth. Bam! Sauce. I added some salt too. Then you pour it on top of scrambled eggs and fried up chorizo on a corn tortilla. Basically we had breakfast for dinner. Tonight, all I have to do is make scrambled eggs again.
I've heard of Breakfast for Dinner but growing up I dont' think we had it, or if we did, it was only once or twice. Same with Josh, so he says. We have it quite often here. Breakfast is easy to make, easy to add things too, and delicious when it's not breakfast time. I do not like breakfast foods in the morning. I only like deserts or yogurt in the morning. Also, Lilly likes scrambled eggs, pancakes, toast, and cereal...and sometimes, why not just make what she'll eat? I bought some baby spinach and I'm trying to work it into foods so we can get some leafy greens. Josh doesn't like it on his sandwiches, but if I put a thin layer I tell him he can't taste it and to suck it up and eat it like a man. It's for Health.
Here is today's ToDo list. I'm not sure if I can manage as much, my headache is pretty bad this morning.
-put away Lilly's clothes
-fold one load of laundry
-go to tamarac
-call chiropractor
-do dishes
-feed family lunch, breakfast, dinner
-manage budget
Here is a list of things I want to do:
-dust
-vacuum the couch, specifically the dusty arms and top of it
-print out printables for my planner
-gather tax documents into one spot
-Do taxes
Now that I look at this, I think I might switch some things up on the lists. We'll see.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Monday, January 23, 2017
Goals and To-Do's
It's a good thing I made waking up early a goal. It's making it easier to accept that I know longer have a choice. If one isn't wanting to nurse, the other one is getting up. All morning, every 30 min or so from 5am. Our monitor never worked well, and I think stopped working, so I can't nap on the couch and listen for Damian in the other room either. I need to be awake and aware. Maybe if he cried loud enough, but he doesn't. Lilly made you take care of her with her loud demands. I take care of Damian because I'm a good mom and choose too. I like to think he'd eventually get loud.
He does get loud, he just builds up to it.
I'm trying to print out my own planner and I want to use free printables. It seems wonderful and easy until you get down to it. I can't find the printable I want. Then when I do, I can't get them to print in the size I want. I want 1/2 letter size b/c that's what size my folder is. I can't get it to print two per page. Or I make my own because I want utility over fancy fonts, but I can't get it.
Here are a list of my Problems:
1. I only work on it after 8pm when I'm exhuasted and braindead.
2. None of the ones I find online are just a simple table for Name: Phone Number: That's all I want.
3. I made my own on Open Office Calc (Off brand excel) and since it's free, it lacks the finer formatting buttons. OR I just don't know where they are.
4. I format it but it thinks the pages of physical paper are half size and I can't figure out how to have it outline the page area so I know what size half page is AND print two per page. My only work around is to cut the paper in half first and feed that into the printer.
5. I wish I had publisher.
6. I downloaded a nice font, just to see if I could, and I think it only went into Open Word and I can't get it in Open Calc. The program I was using.
I would just do this on a large full page folder, but the half size works better. It fits in the drawer I like to keep it in, and it fits on the table/desk better when I work. I don't think I would have the space, or I would fight with it a lot if it was full size.
7. Everyone in my house, including myself, smells like pee.
Here is today's Todo List:
-Put away everyone's clothes
-go to library or tamarac
-shower
-make a breakfast, lunch and dinner for everyone
-do the dishes
-fold more clothes
-budget management
I could probably add more, but why be unrealistic? They say seven things is all a person should have on a list anyways.
He does get loud, he just builds up to it.
I'm trying to print out my own planner and I want to use free printables. It seems wonderful and easy until you get down to it. I can't find the printable I want. Then when I do, I can't get them to print in the size I want. I want 1/2 letter size b/c that's what size my folder is. I can't get it to print two per page. Or I make my own because I want utility over fancy fonts, but I can't get it.
Here are a list of my Problems:
1. I only work on it after 8pm when I'm exhuasted and braindead.
2. None of the ones I find online are just a simple table for Name: Phone Number: That's all I want.
3. I made my own on Open Office Calc (Off brand excel) and since it's free, it lacks the finer formatting buttons. OR I just don't know where they are.
4. I format it but it thinks the pages of physical paper are half size and I can't figure out how to have it outline the page area so I know what size half page is AND print two per page. My only work around is to cut the paper in half first and feed that into the printer.
5. I wish I had publisher.
6. I downloaded a nice font, just to see if I could, and I think it only went into Open Word and I can't get it in Open Calc. The program I was using.
I would just do this on a large full page folder, but the half size works better. It fits in the drawer I like to keep it in, and it fits on the table/desk better when I work. I don't think I would have the space, or I would fight with it a lot if it was full size.
7. Everyone in my house, including myself, smells like pee.
Here is today's Todo List:
-Put away everyone's clothes
-go to library or tamarac
-shower
-make a breakfast, lunch and dinner for everyone
-do the dishes
-fold more clothes
-budget management
I could probably add more, but why be unrealistic? They say seven things is all a person should have on a list anyways.
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Woman's March Lansing
Yesterday was the Woman's March and I went with my family. Well, we went to the one in Lansing, not Washington DC. It was a very different experience. I didn't know what to expect at all. There were tons of people there and as we were driving in, we saw groups of people wearing pink pussy hats walking towards the capitol. There were so many more people and hats than I ever imagined and I got teary eyed because so many people cared. I guess I've just been feeling so alone, thinking only I and the Internet cared.
I finished my hat 10 min. before we got there. Per usual with my knit hats, the ribbed band was much too large and stretchy. I knew I should have used smaller needles for that part, I just didn't want to waste time looking for them, not having them, then having to go buy them, or be disappointment for "settling" for the regular size needles I used anyways. Regardless, it was a perfect hat and it did it's job.
We parked on the top level of a parking garage because it was completely full and pulled out our new used double stroller. I did not ask for this stroller, it was a surprise gift from the neighbors. It literally showed up in my yard, so I put it in my garage. This was our first time using it. It worked perfectly for an event like this, as we walked to one spot and stayed there and Damian was comfortable and Lilly had a home base with table to run back to and sit down in. The thing was giant and doesn't turn easily or go up and down steps at all. Also, we can't fit anything else in our trunk but this monstrosity.
Since I had kids and a stroller, we mostly stood far back and not in the lawn in front of the Capitol Building. It was so packed, I couldn't get to close when I tried either. The grass was soaking wet and got very very muddy by the end of the day as well.
There were speeches and there were cheers and there were lots of different signs. I wish Lilly had a sign so people could ooh and ahh over how adorable she is and make me feel good. I'm a mother that brought her daughter to an important event for her. There were lots of well behaved dogs there, but Lilly is afraid of dogs, so she was constantly vigilant. I didn't hear any of what was spoken or see much up close. There were too many people and the speakers didn't reach that far back. Mostly we just sat and people watched. I didn't expect that to be what happened. The sun came out and it was warm. I nursed Damian without a cover and without worrying if I was making people uncomfortable. He basked in the sunlight. It was his first sunlight since he was born and he LOVED it. He was full and warm and a gentle breeze was blowing through his baby hair and he just closed his eyes and was at peace.
At the end, a drunk college girl came up and had this conversation with me about Damian (then in his stroller), also it took me a second to realize she was drunk, or something was wrong.
Her: Is this your baby? He is adorable! A "he", right?
Me: Yes.
Her to Damian: You are going to be a handsome man. Or you can be a woman ,that's okay too!
Her to me: What's it's name?
What's IT"S name?! That's when I realized she was either drunk or using "it's" as a genderless term. She also told Damian to vote for a woman president when he is 18 and told Lilly to never vote for Trump. She smelled funny, like tobacco unsmoked, and was drooly. I saw brown flecks coming out of her mouth (chew maybe?) and she wiped it off with the palm of her hand and then immediately touched my children. Once she left, I wiped them all down.
Besides her, there were all the different people there. Some crazy hippies, lots of families with kids Lilly's age running around, lots of dad's watching and carrying the small babies, lots of grandmothers, lots of college kids, and a group of college goths walking around chanting: What is it? It's Clit! I don't get the message, but okay.
Then, to top off a wonderful day, we found a Nashville Hot Chicken place to eat at!!! I didn't even know they made them outside of Nashville. We would give it a 7 out of 10, where 10 is the Hot Chicken place in Antioch that I love. There were pictures of the city up all over the resteraunt, and they weren't the typical tourist pics. There was one that showed the expressway going towards downtown. I showed Lilly the batman building and told her she was born in Nashville and showed her the spot on the road that I puked. She loved it.
I finished my hat 10 min. before we got there. Per usual with my knit hats, the ribbed band was much too large and stretchy. I knew I should have used smaller needles for that part, I just didn't want to waste time looking for them, not having them, then having to go buy them, or be disappointment for "settling" for the regular size needles I used anyways. Regardless, it was a perfect hat and it did it's job.
We parked on the top level of a parking garage because it was completely full and pulled out our new used double stroller. I did not ask for this stroller, it was a surprise gift from the neighbors. It literally showed up in my yard, so I put it in my garage. This was our first time using it. It worked perfectly for an event like this, as we walked to one spot and stayed there and Damian was comfortable and Lilly had a home base with table to run back to and sit down in. The thing was giant and doesn't turn easily or go up and down steps at all. Also, we can't fit anything else in our trunk but this monstrosity.
Since I had kids and a stroller, we mostly stood far back and not in the lawn in front of the Capitol Building. It was so packed, I couldn't get to close when I tried either. The grass was soaking wet and got very very muddy by the end of the day as well.
There were speeches and there were cheers and there were lots of different signs. I wish Lilly had a sign so people could ooh and ahh over how adorable she is and make me feel good. I'm a mother that brought her daughter to an important event for her. There were lots of well behaved dogs there, but Lilly is afraid of dogs, so she was constantly vigilant. I didn't hear any of what was spoken or see much up close. There were too many people and the speakers didn't reach that far back. Mostly we just sat and people watched. I didn't expect that to be what happened. The sun came out and it was warm. I nursed Damian without a cover and without worrying if I was making people uncomfortable. He basked in the sunlight. It was his first sunlight since he was born and he LOVED it. He was full and warm and a gentle breeze was blowing through his baby hair and he just closed his eyes and was at peace.
At the end, a drunk college girl came up and had this conversation with me about Damian (then in his stroller), also it took me a second to realize she was drunk, or something was wrong.
Her: Is this your baby? He is adorable! A "he", right?
Me: Yes.
Her to Damian: You are going to be a handsome man. Or you can be a woman ,that's okay too!
Her to me: What's it's name?
What's IT"S name?! That's when I realized she was either drunk or using "it's" as a genderless term. She also told Damian to vote for a woman president when he is 18 and told Lilly to never vote for Trump. She smelled funny, like tobacco unsmoked, and was drooly. I saw brown flecks coming out of her mouth (chew maybe?) and she wiped it off with the palm of her hand and then immediately touched my children. Once she left, I wiped them all down.
Besides her, there were all the different people there. Some crazy hippies, lots of families with kids Lilly's age running around, lots of dad's watching and carrying the small babies, lots of grandmothers, lots of college kids, and a group of college goths walking around chanting: What is it? It's Clit! I don't get the message, but okay.
Then, to top off a wonderful day, we found a Nashville Hot Chicken place to eat at!!! I didn't even know they made them outside of Nashville. We would give it a 7 out of 10, where 10 is the Hot Chicken place in Antioch that I love. There were pictures of the city up all over the resteraunt, and they weren't the typical tourist pics. There was one that showed the expressway going towards downtown. I showed Lilly the batman building and told her she was born in Nashville and showed her the spot on the road that I puked. She loved it.
Saturday, January 21, 2017
Well, I Tried
This morning I don't have much to say I guess. Josh is home. I'm eating my donut. He found out my secret. I buy 5 donuts. One for him, one for Lilly, and 3 for me. Okay, sometimes 2 for me and 2 for him. When you buy the groceries you can get as many donuts as you want.
Today we are going to Lansing to march in the Woman's March for people who can't make it to DC. I wish I could go to DC to march for this, but I have no money and a tiny baby. Also, a big baby and a husband. My hat I'm knitting for it is 2 inches short! I'll totally finish it on time, then I just have to fold it in half and sew it up on the sides with yarn. Bam! Pussy Hat.
I'm excited because Lilly and Damian are going. In the future, as they grow up, we can tell them that they went to the march, and they can tell their kids, and so on. I've always wished I knew more or was part of the activism of the 60's and 70's.
I wish I advocated and was an activist in my own life more too. I guess starting at 30 yrs is better than not at all. I'm still terrible at sticking up for myself. I can do it with the doctor though. It is my right for them to listen to me, I just have to go in with my points and questions written down, and I don't let them go or stop asking/talking until they pay attention and listen to me and have the conversation I want to have. At times it's hard to do that, I once saw my Ob pull her thoughts and eyes in from what she was thinking about to actually stop and listen to me. They WANT to have these conversations, they are required to, they are trained to but a busy life of people who don't push to have them gets the conversations pushed to the side. But I learned if I don't stay on my toes and advocate for my own health, no one else will.
Protip: Write your questions down, and when the nurse interviews you in the beginning, asking you your weight, taking your blood pressure, etc. That is the time to list your concerns and conversation topics to the nurse. She'll write them down and the doctor will look at that list and be sure to discuss them with you.
Today we are going to Lansing to march in the Woman's March for people who can't make it to DC. I wish I could go to DC to march for this, but I have no money and a tiny baby. Also, a big baby and a husband. My hat I'm knitting for it is 2 inches short! I'll totally finish it on time, then I just have to fold it in half and sew it up on the sides with yarn. Bam! Pussy Hat.
I'm excited because Lilly and Damian are going. In the future, as they grow up, we can tell them that they went to the march, and they can tell their kids, and so on. I've always wished I knew more or was part of the activism of the 60's and 70's.
I wish I advocated and was an activist in my own life more too. I guess starting at 30 yrs is better than not at all. I'm still terrible at sticking up for myself. I can do it with the doctor though. It is my right for them to listen to me, I just have to go in with my points and questions written down, and I don't let them go or stop asking/talking until they pay attention and listen to me and have the conversation I want to have. At times it's hard to do that, I once saw my Ob pull her thoughts and eyes in from what she was thinking about to actually stop and listen to me. They WANT to have these conversations, they are required to, they are trained to but a busy life of people who don't push to have them gets the conversations pushed to the side. But I learned if I don't stay on my toes and advocate for my own health, no one else will.
Protip: Write your questions down, and when the nurse interviews you in the beginning, asking you your weight, taking your blood pressure, etc. That is the time to list your concerns and conversation topics to the nurse. She'll write them down and the doctor will look at that list and be sure to discuss them with you.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Knit Today
Today I'm going to knit at least 5 inches of stockinnette. It should be easy, you'd think. Yesterday I got about 4 inches, and three of them were in about 40 min. So, I need two hours of knitting. I don't know if i can get that. I'm going to have to distract Lilly somehow.
I'm cutting down on screen time b/c that's a goal. Yesterday we had MOPs in the morning (my mom's group), so we turned the tv off early. Then I took a 1-2 hr nap (I'm not sure how long really) in the afternoon and Lilly played my phone and dug her feet into my back the entire time. But I did not turn the tv on again until 6:15 because I could not do more. Josh was getting home an hour late too b/c he had a work meeting. That's about 4 hrs of screen time. I've got ot get it down to one hour or less. Sigh.
Right now my reasonable goals are turning the tv off by 8 am every day, and cutting out tv at night, or just 30 min of tv at night. That gets me to 2.5 hrs or less, depending on when Lilly wakes up. I dont' know what I'll do about naptime. I need my nap. Yesterday when Lilly was tired and still wanted the tv on, I read books to her instead. She liked that. So I imagine we will read a lot more books. I can't really complain about that. I would like ot get into the habit of reading her a long story or a novel story at night instead of her tv show. Wouldn't that be nice? I just don't have energy left, especially if I don't get my nap!
Maybe I'll start putting her in her room for a few min at nap time and try to increase the time in her room each day. Change is hard and it's extra hard when you are the one in charge of making hte change happen to an irrational person. That's why boss's can't be friends with the underlings.
Other goals? Maybe I'll go walk at the Tamarac today or maybe I'll go walk with my mom.
My coffee is gone. My baby is crying (the bigger one, the little one doesn't). Knitting is calling.
I'm cutting down on screen time b/c that's a goal. Yesterday we had MOPs in the morning (my mom's group), so we turned the tv off early. Then I took a 1-2 hr nap (I'm not sure how long really) in the afternoon and Lilly played my phone and dug her feet into my back the entire time. But I did not turn the tv on again until 6:15 because I could not do more. Josh was getting home an hour late too b/c he had a work meeting. That's about 4 hrs of screen time. I've got ot get it down to one hour or less. Sigh.
Right now my reasonable goals are turning the tv off by 8 am every day, and cutting out tv at night, or just 30 min of tv at night. That gets me to 2.5 hrs or less, depending on when Lilly wakes up. I dont' know what I'll do about naptime. I need my nap. Yesterday when Lilly was tired and still wanted the tv on, I read books to her instead. She liked that. So I imagine we will read a lot more books. I can't really complain about that. I would like ot get into the habit of reading her a long story or a novel story at night instead of her tv show. Wouldn't that be nice? I just don't have energy left, especially if I don't get my nap!
Maybe I'll start putting her in her room for a few min at nap time and try to increase the time in her room each day. Change is hard and it's extra hard when you are the one in charge of making hte change happen to an irrational person. That's why boss's can't be friends with the underlings.
Other goals? Maybe I'll go walk at the Tamarac today or maybe I'll go walk with my mom.
My coffee is gone. My baby is crying (the bigger one, the little one doesn't). Knitting is calling.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
just thoughts
I don't have much to write about right now. It's early. Lilly had a fever again yesterday. We decided to give her antibiotics. I don't want to use them, but I also don't want to be one of those crazy parents that bad things happen to their kids b/c they don't believe in modern medicine. It's been three weeks, I gave it my best shot, but it's time now for meds.
Now, do I take her to MOPS or do I stay home?
No fever right now, so MOPs it is. I also realized she slept in her clothes (we had a late night at Grandma's house), so I don't need to get he dressed. Just a diaper change and teeth brushed.
I told Josh we can go on an adventure in Muskegon with his mom (grandma) in two weeks, when he has days off again. I'm trying to think of where we could go. I'm all for a bouncy castle place or the art museum. I know what Lilly would like!
Goals for This Week:
1. Get printer set up and printing
2. Get a file system set up on my desk
3. Pay the City Bill
4. Fold all the laundry
5. Eat a veggie with every meal. I have cleaned lettuce, so a salad for lunch for me.
6. Knit a pink pussy hat.
Now, do I take her to MOPS or do I stay home?
No fever right now, so MOPs it is. I also realized she slept in her clothes (we had a late night at Grandma's house), so I don't need to get he dressed. Just a diaper change and teeth brushed.
I told Josh we can go on an adventure in Muskegon with his mom (grandma) in two weeks, when he has days off again. I'm trying to think of where we could go. I'm all for a bouncy castle place or the art museum. I know what Lilly would like!
Goals for This Week:
1. Get printer set up and printing
2. Get a file system set up on my desk
3. Pay the City Bill
4. Fold all the laundry
5. Eat a veggie with every meal. I have cleaned lettuce, so a salad for lunch for me.
6. Knit a pink pussy hat.
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
My Freedoms!
"Change does not roll on the wheels of inevitability, but comes
through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and
work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent."
Question: How are you working for freedom?
What a good question. One you should ask yourself everyday as an American. If we are the land of the free, we must make sure we are free. Every. Day.
I am raising two children with my values and trying my damndest to teach them more than I knew before they head out into the world. The world is large, the world is full of Different, the world is not a happy wonderful place, the world has happy wonderful places that are yours to find.
I fight the good fight against velociraptors. Awareness is key.
I march for nonviolence.
I continue my education and seek out diversity and diverse situations.
I call my congressmen. I watch the reliable news. I think critically. I try to follow my civic duties.
I practice listening to others.
I use my freedoms! Use them or lose them.
Huh. How do women fight this attack on our bodies? How do we fight the freedom of reproductive rights? We use birth control. Do we all need to get preggers and then get an abortion? Maybe just the women who have gotten them speak out more, as they feel comfortable. We, the women (and men) who have not gotten one, should make space and listen to their voices. Show the country that it is a right we use and do not want to lose.
I used my right to choose twice. Twice I chose to keep my children. Well, three times, but once science chose against the child (the doctor called it Spontaneous Miscarriage). I was not forced to keep them...it was a choice. An easy one, but still one. It is my and any woman's right to choose how she treats her body.
I fear the attack on my daughter's reproductive rights. I fear the attack on my children's climate and environment. It is a fear I can touch. I have never felt such fear before. Am I old now and it happens to everyone? Or am I living in a time of fear?
Question: How are you working for freedom?
What a good question. One you should ask yourself everyday as an American. If we are the land of the free, we must make sure we are free. Every. Day.
I am raising two children with my values and trying my damndest to teach them more than I knew before they head out into the world. The world is large, the world is full of Different, the world is not a happy wonderful place, the world has happy wonderful places that are yours to find.
I fight the good fight against velociraptors. Awareness is key.
I march for nonviolence.
I continue my education and seek out diversity and diverse situations.
I call my congressmen. I watch the reliable news. I think critically. I try to follow my civic duties.
I practice listening to others.
I use my freedoms! Use them or lose them.
Huh. How do women fight this attack on our bodies? How do we fight the freedom of reproductive rights? We use birth control. Do we all need to get preggers and then get an abortion? Maybe just the women who have gotten them speak out more, as they feel comfortable. We, the women (and men) who have not gotten one, should make space and listen to their voices. Show the country that it is a right we use and do not want to lose.
I used my right to choose twice. Twice I chose to keep my children. Well, three times, but once science chose against the child (the doctor called it Spontaneous Miscarriage). I was not forced to keep them...it was a choice. An easy one, but still one. It is my and any woman's right to choose how she treats her body.
I fear the attack on my daughter's reproductive rights. I fear the attack on my children's climate and environment. It is a fear I can touch. I have never felt such fear before. Am I old now and it happens to everyone? Or am I living in a time of fear?
"'I wish it need not have happened in my time,' said Frodo. 'So do I,' said Gandalf, 'and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." J.R.R. Tolkien
I think I shall embroider that into a pillow.
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